Henrik Ibsen, Peer Gynt, 1867: "What's a man's first duty? The answer is brief: to be himself."

Henrik Ibsen, Brand, 1884: "The man whom God wills to stay in the struggle of life, He first individualizes."

Henrik Ibsen, An Enemy of the People, 1882: "The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone."

there is a time to be alone:

“a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to gain, and a time to lose...”

Good wisdom from Ecclesiastes.

I was having some herbal tea at Panera; on my table, one of Sheldrake’s books served as silent companion, part of my effort to explore the “evolution” subject.

Just in front of me, though – you see the unoccupied table -- two women had been chatting, at decibel-levels to include my awareness.

'love is not a victory march' - Leonard Cohen

One proclaimed to the other: “Today is my forty-second wedding anniversary.” I noted, however, in this declaration, there was no tone of joy; more like a cadence of achievement when one overcomes a long illness or pays off the burden of a 30-year mortgage.

Then she said: “This past weekend, though, I didn’t know if we were going to make it through to this day”; meaning, “it was pretty rough."

Most people – anybody older than 16 -- know quite well what she means. We readily imagine this “Mary” on her wedding day, exactly 42 years ago. We see her negotiating with herself: “Ok, alright, maybe he isn’t my number one prince charming, but at least in my old age I won’t be alone.”

Has she, today, in truth, avoided aloneness? or, is she alone with someone, rather than alone by herself?

May I share with you something about this seemingly universal fear of being alone? It’s associated with many other fears: the fear of not having someone to share the daily tasks of running a household; the fear of becoming ill with no one around; the fear of entering a state of depression during the holidays or birthdays with no one near. All these, and many more, are deemed to be worse than cohabiting with someone whom, in your heart of hearts, you don’t really love.

But what if Life requires you to be alone, and you refuse the lesson?

I think it was Cher who said, “Eventually, everyone sleeps alone.” She should have added, “ – or should.” Stated a different way, eventually, Life is going to require you to be by yourself. There are many valuable lessons to be learned, for a time, by walking alone, eating alone, sleeping along – doing everything alone. It’s not meant to be pleasant. It’s part of the individuation process, the very reason and primary purpose for which you came to this difficult world.

Once our eyes open to how this works, and if we remain with another who is no good for us, we begin to pervert ourselves. We strengthen the sense of fear, of egocentrism and manipulation that the disingenuous life encourages. We use others as “means” not “ends.” We declare, by our actions, that there is no God to help us, that a life of faith is for suckers, that pure motives are for losers, that the grasping ways of the ego is what really works.

Many people think, or hope, that achieving a fiftieth wedding anniversary is very important. It could be, but struggling on to win that milestone, when you perceive that Life is calling you to be alone, will do you no good. In fact, it will make you worse, it will increase your fears, and sense of helplessness. It will set you back, inject darkness into your spirit, and make you a candidate for a time in the “shadowlands” upon crossing over; for, as Spirit Guide Margaret warns, the number one reason for people, for couples, having to spend time in “dark detention” is due to their using each other for private gain.

See my four books for extensive discussion. Many people are hiding in ill-conceived marriage; hiding from Life, hiding from the "still small voice," but primarily, hiding from themselves.

send a sympathy card to the anniversary couple

I grew up in a farming community in which it was common for marriages to last 50 years or more. By nature we want to rejoice with couples who have earned this distinction; however, many, virtually all, of those couples were miserable together, just as the lady in Panera: they "didn't have the faith or the guts to leave" and "were standing in each other's way"; and now they want to take a "victory march."

Most of those marriages, if the participants had been honest with themselves, and spiritually clear-eyed enough, should have ended, in favor of the sacred lessons to be learned by living alone.

This is the world wherein we are to experience one-time events. It's different over there. We’re headed for Summerland society where all good things are readily available. There is no suffering over there; not in the “better neighborhoods.” And so this is our one chance to gain a depth of wisdom by enduring loss and sorrow; facing it in the "open sunny air" – that is, when required, when there's nowhere to turn but to endure suffering honorably, when Life signals that it’s our time to participate in such severe classroom as aloneness.

The Gospel Of Thomas: "Jesus said, Blessed are those who are alone and chosen: you will find the Kingdom... Jesus said, Many are standing by the door, but [only] those who are alone will enter the wedding chamber."

a tree, the only friend, in her loneliness - or was it aloneness

Dr. Victor Frankl, in his concentration camp memoirs, offers an account of a fellow inmate who was about to die. The following excerpts are from “Man’s Search For Meaning."

It is a simple story, and it may sound as if I had invented it. But to me it seems like a poem. This young woman knew that she would die in the next few days, but when I talked to her she was cheerful in spite of this knowledge.

"I am grateful that fate has hit me so hard,” she told me. "In my former life I was spoiled and did not take spiritual accomplishments seriously."

Pointing through the window of the hut she said, "This tree here is the only friend I have in my loneliness."

Through that window, she could see just one branch of a chestnut tree, and on the branch were two blossoms.

“I often talk to this tree,” she said to me.

I was startled and didn’t know how to take her words. Was she delirious? Did she have occasional hallucinations? Anxiously, I asked her if the tree replied.

“Yes."

What did it say to her?

She answered, "It said to me, I am here, I am here, I am life - eternal life."

Our aloneness is defeated when God becomes a living entity. This sense of familiarity occurs when we “meet” God in the Dazzling Darkness.

The concept of the Dazzling Darkness is one of the most important in the Word Gems mini-library. It has to do with accessing an ego-less frame of mind. The lectures of Krishnamurti are most helpful in this regard. Before proceeding with the following, you may want to first read the article on the Dazzling Darkness as part of the “Omega” writings. It is recommended that you do.

When the ego is quieted, when the “chattering in the head” stops, then, at times, a kind of portal to mystical knowing opens for us. I like to call it the Dazzling Darkness.

It’s a place, far from the madding intrigues of the dysfunctional ego. Without this distraction and “static on the line,” we begin to perceive snatches of reality. We find “the truth”; as such, we commence to piece together a new view of "what is." You’ll find detailed discussion in this regard in the aforementioned article.

The cosmic stillness enjoyed in the Dazzling Darkness can be quite surreal. It will seem to us that time has stopped, that we’re inhabiting an eternal moment of clarity. We need this non-temporal perspective to access timeless truth.

Elsewhere I’ve discussed that, even among teachers who understand the importance of putting away the ego, one finds that – some of them – are still given to subtle arrogant comments, laced with “I am better” and “I am above.”

How can this happen? I’d wondered. If one has accessed the Dazzling Darkness, that enchanted realm where bona fide elements of “the truth” can be witnessed, how is it possible to be afflicted with pride? Over the years, however, the answer came to me.

The Dazzling Darkness offers, shall we say, levels of benefits. Some have “picked the low-hanging fruit” but the most important aspects might go begging.

What do I mean by this? Some teachers on this subject, for example, emphasize the “timeless,” the “eternal moment” element of the Dazzling Darkness. This is well and good, but, without more, one will go away with only a token blessing, with the full gain unharvested.

Here’s what I’ve learned from my own experience.

The Dazzling Darkness offers much more than an understanding of some of life’s mysteries. To many, this would seem as the apex, what more could there be? A lot more.

It is in the Dazzling Darkness that we not only begin to gain an accurate picture of how natural law and the universe works, that is, an accessing of an outline of “the truth,” but – far more important to us and our well-being – will be the perception of God as a living entity.

This will not sound like much to many. We’ve all heard that God is alive and that we can interact with God. So what’s special about it?

Yes, we’ve all “heard” about God as a living entity, but how many actually feel the reality of this? Not many, I suspect. And the receipt of this knowledge – an intuitive and visceral knowledge – can be gained only when the ego is subdued; stated differently, it can happen only in the Dazzling Darkness.

Krishnamurti once said that “truth is a living thing.” We don’t really get this, do we? But we will, when we experience it in the Dazzling Darkness. As we do, God becomes real to us. Not as a thought form, not as a sterile belief-system, not as one more concept in the head – because thought about God is not God. But when the ego is silenced, then we have the opportunity to feel and to sense the “living” energy of God within our spirits. It's been there all the time, but the ego has cloaked the reality.

When this marvel occurs, it is not possible to also maintain prideful estimations of oneself; and this is what others have missed, though they understand certain things about “going within.”

This point of discussion is being offered on the “aloneness” page. I offer it here because, when we finally enter the Dazzling Darkness and experience the truth, and God, as something “living,” then we will never feel alone again. In this world, almost everyone will be required to go through phases in which we must live alone. But when we experience the “living energy” within, when we access it and sensitize ourselves to it, we will never feel alone again.

Think about this in terms of our future. We’re all headed for Summerland. And we’ll have a great many projects to enjoy and negotiate. But no matter where we go in the universe, no matter our far-flung adventures and exploits, if we have experienced the “living energy,” the truth, as something alive within, then, we will perceive the Great Spirit travelling with us, and we will never feel alone again.

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While all aspects of truth are related, the following articles are most germane to the subjects of the Dazzling Darkness, the Mystical Experience, and Existential Beauty:

Kairissi and Elenchus discuss how lovers' perceptions of existential beauty lead them to ultimate intimacy and oneness

Touching foreheads, entering a condition of "no you and no me," a quality of sacred silence, the Dazzling Darkness, with no space or separation, an Omega-Point intimacy

The Mystical Experience: 'silence your ego and your power will rise'

Part I, Existential Beauty: Noting a sunrise as messenger of a new day is not the same as discerning the dawn as dreamily enchanting. The sublime awareness allowing for such is untainted by utilitarian concern.

Part II, Existential Beauty: Consonance with the whole: “What is good is in consonance with creation as a whole and therefore also with the world of men. Whenever we see the Good and the True in perfect accord, the Beautiful stands revealed.”

We feel uplifted at the singing note of a bird, a blossoming rose, and with a woman’s grace and loveliness. But can any of these bring about a transformation of heart and mind? Is her mystical allure a basis for authentic love and marriage?

Over the years on WG, we have referred to Twin Soul love as founded upon “soul energies.” However, as Tesla asserted, to know the universe, one must think in terms of “energy, frequency, and vibration.” As such we may be able to further clarify Twins’ affinity as oscillating waves of Consciousness.

plus some extra notes on the Dazzling Darkness in:

Aloneness 1-Minute Essay

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