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Soulmate, Myself:
Omega Point

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Editor’s note: The subject of discontinuity as element of creative Universal Consciousness was introduced in the “Evolution” article. Allow me to quote a portion of that writing:

creativity, in any context, tends to exhibit itself with an element of discontinuity

Attempting to provide a model for the atom, Niels Bohr said its various orbital levels are like a multi-tiered building. Electrons reside on the stories. But when an electron moves from a higher to a lower floor of the building, the path traveled is not conventional. He called it a “quantum leap.” The electron does not traverse intervening space, Bohr asserted, but, in some sense, pops in and out of existence discontinuously. One moment the electron is on one level and the next it’s on another.

In the article on “Creativity,” a large corpus of testimony from creative notables in many fields of enquiry suggests that the truly original idea has no lead-up or prelude. Suddenly and seemingly, the new idea is simply dropped into one’s head. As “The Wedding Song” uses the phrase, it’s “something never seen before.” The singular insight constitutes a discontinuous trajectory of arrival.

Without intermediaries or warm-up, a great number of new species suddenly appeared on Earth 530 million years ago. It’s called the Cambrian Explosion. Defying Darwinism's "gradualism," the coming of these new biological organisms was a discontinuous one, a kind of "jump" in the fossil record.

As there is good evidence that Universal Consciousness served as agent of the collapsing of quantum possibility waves concerning the Cambrian Explosion, this creative force, as a defining characteristic, often seems to operate discontinuously in its various expressions.

but the greatest example of the anomalous creative discontinuity is reserved for authentic romantic relationship

Kairissi. Do we know something about this?

Elenchus. I think we’re poster-kids for it.

K. mmm…

E. Let’s talk about this. Conventional street wisdom says that John and Mary need lots of bridge-building for a successful relationship. They need a high score on the “eharmony match-up quiz.” For example, they need to like the same football team…

K. At least she needs to appear to like it.

E. At least that. And they need to like the same sort of food, or movies, or pets, or religion.

K. What we’re saying is that Darwinian “gradualism” makes a good showing in the conventional love affair. Love needs to be built, brick by brick, they say.

E. Explain this to me.

K. Most people consider it a myth that you can fall in love instantly and have it be the real thing.

E. “Do you believe in love at first sight? – or do I need to walk by you again?”

K. (smiling) That sort of thing.

E. And why do they say it’s a myth?

K. If it happens too quickly, the story goes, it’s probably just animal spirits, and anyone older than 16 knows how fast love can fly away. And so, what you want, the wise heads say, is to build your bridges gradually to create love.

E. At least two years of dating is recommended to check out the merchandize in all sorts of situations.

K. You need at least two years so you know what you’re buying.

E. Two years, though, is a rather long “job interview” process.

K. But it’s generally agreed that you need that much time to get beyond the false front: you need enough time to have your first arguments, see how you work through them, see each other on the bad days and the bad-hair days, see if you can work through problems, so you’re not overcome by “buyer’s remorse” on the day after the wedding.

E. To say nothing of the wedding night.

K. Well, that, too, is a big cause of "buyer's reverse."

E. And let’s not forget that “gradualism” is alive and well long after the wedding day. When it comes time to face the music that “I feel so empty inside with you,” and “what happened to all the thrill of being together,” then John and Mary think about seeing a marriage counselor; at least, Mary does.

K. And then the marriage counselor is ready with the platitudes, “You have to go back to basics, back to the beginning, you have to rebuild your marriage. You have to start dating again, rediscover what you liked originally.”

E. But what if you just "got married in a fever, hotter than a brussels sprout," and from the start you never actually liked her person so much?

K. That is problematic.

E. In any case, all this is just more “gradualism.” The idea is, for the remedy, you have to “work on your marriage,” you have to build it up incrementally, and you have to keep it built up, in a brick-by-brick thorough going over.

K. It's a victim of entropy, isn’t it? It just keeps running down.

E. "Running down" is considered “normal” in marriage.

K. It’s considered normal because virtually no one has the real thing, and everyone’s trying to prop up something that was never meant to be.

E. To justify the "normal," after "the fever" dies down, and it doesn't take long, the excuses offered by conventional wisdom begin coming out. Now, they say, it's time to build the real love. Romantic attraction was just a trick of nature, something low-level, but now you need to construct a service-oriented love, a love of sacrifice toward your mate, and that's the mature love in marriage.

K. It gets complicated because there's an element of truth to this. We do need sacrificial love, we do need to deny the ego, but, the way they say it, it becomes an excuse for not having romantic feelings anymore.

E. Part of the confusion is that other "loves" do tend to grow incrementally. While there is such a thing as immediate, fast friends, most times you have to build a friendship. It takes spending time together, exploring common interests, doing things together, giving and taking, and so you grow into a sense of rapport.

K. And most people assume that it's the same in marriage. They see marriage in a nearby category, a form of friendship, and so they assume that romantic love has to be built incrementally, gradually.

E. It could, or does, work that way with John-and-Mary love; I mean, once you get passed the initial "fever."

K. But the real love is on a different planet, it's made of different stuff, and it's even more than "friendship on fire," as some put it.

E. There's a philosophy that says you should marry your best friend.

K. It's a nice sentiment, but you really don't have to worry about that. In the aftermath of meeting your cosmic destined one, he will automatically be your best friend - your "friend and guide" for all times to come. No one could be closer to your heart, mind, and spirit than your true mate, and so he will naturally become your best friend. But you need something else first.

E. So why don’t you tell our readers how the real thing really works? And what does “discontinuity” have to do with it?

K. As the author has explained in a few thousand pages, in numerous articles and books, true love is not rooted in the body, but in the soul. It’s not fundamentally an expression of Mother Nature so much, but much more of Madame Destiny. True love is not a function, by and large, of mere desire, but of higher consciousness - an upward shift in consciousness. As such it will exhibit all the characteristics of creative Universal Consciousness, of which we are part.

E. Is love at first sight possible then?

K. Strangely, in a larger sense, it's the only way that does work. As Gibran said, if real love isn't there in the first moment, it will never be there, not even with a thousand years of working on it. You can't build it brick by brick. But I know what everyone wants to ask now.

E. Yes - everyone is wondering about the fact that it doesn't seem to work that way. It doesn't seem like "love at first sight" produces the real thing, but only "the fever."

K. The reason why, in practice, it seems like true love can't be immediate is because the dysfunctional ego gets involved. If we do meet the true mate, an egoic blindness can easily shield our true feelings for the Beloved.

E. And this will delay the "love at first sight."

K. It's hard to have a "first sight" when you're blind.

E. And so, when vision finally comes, when true love breaks through the ego, it can feel like an explosion of "discontinuity."

K. One moment you're blind, you can't see the true mate even if he's right in front of you, and the next instant, you're stunned into an incoherence to perceive the identity of your eternal love! There's no lead-up to this, no prelude. It's just, bang, wham, and it smacks you hard!

E. And we're not really talking about "the fever" here.

K. No, not "the fever." In the real encounter, a higher level attraction comes into play, and with such force that ordinary bio-thrill might not even be detected.

E. You can't see the stars when the Sun is out. Something much more potent than bio-thrill is in play.

K. And there's no gradualism to it. In the previous moment, you might not have even liked him so much. But then, in one super-hot nanosecond of mystic revelation, the heavens open, and now you know who he is, you're all done, permanently - and you can't go back to not knowing.

E. This means that true love will express great creative discontinuities. Tell us more about this, Kriss.

K. It means that true lovers, Twins Souls, will not necessarily pass the “eharmony match-up quiz.” At least, not at the beginning; as time goes on, as they experience all things together, the delight of commonality, the sense of "you are just like me," will grow and grow.

E. Let’s make clear that this lack of similarity, at the beginning, will apply only to surface personality; on the deeper soul level, they will be mirror images of each other.

K. Yes, thank you, and this needs to be emphasized. And from that deeper level, even right from the start, they can be overwhelmed by a sense of "utter familiarity," of "coming home," of "soulmate, myself."

E. And this can happen even though they might realize they're different at the surface of life.

K. But on that deeper level, they are essential likenesses of each other. That's why they're called Twins.

E. Twin Souls - not necessarily twin personalities. As we’ve explained elsewhere concerning our own situation, we didn’t really like each other so much in the early days.

K. Just because someone might annoy you at the beginning, doesn’t mean that he isn’t your eternal darling companion, your Twin Soul.

E. You say the nicest things, but explain the “discontinuity” part now in some detail.

K. In the midst of “you annoy me,” eventually, if he really is your true one, you will experience a discontinuous leap from that surface antipathy all the way to an irrepressible “I can’t breathe without you, I can't live without you, I am dying without you.” And this crisis of love, of seeing him as vitally part of you, as part of your very life force, never altogether goes away now. It's a sense that sometimes rages, sometimes whispers, but, in any case, it's part of your reality from here on out; and you wouldn't want to change it, not for anything.

E. (silence)

E. It is a sudden, unexpected, discontinuous jump from callow outward perceptions to a mystical sense of inner soul affinity.

K. When this happens, there will be no “working” on the relationship or the marriage – it will work on you. There is no entropy in any of this, it's here to stay and will not run out of steam; rather, it will build you up and take you to higher levels of spirituality and sentience.

E. Tell us why it's "here to stay."

K. Authentic romance is an extension of the soul, of Universal Consciousness - these are eternal verities, and all things eternal, by definition, are not subject to decay and entropy.

E. Let me also say that, when eyes finally open, when one finally sees, true love will beat you up, and continue to beat you up, every day, every moment, until you find a way to be with the Sacred Beloved.

K. The force that brings Twins together, is also the force that will keep them together, make them delighted to be together, for unending ages to come. Silver Birch said that it's part of the most potent energy in the universe, part of God's own essence.

E. They must find each other, and must come together, or their agitated minds would never truly enjoy a sense of "heaven."

K. This acknowledged, each destined couple will come together at the right time; the right time for them; and when they do, it will happen in a natural way.