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Word Gems 

exploring self-realization, sacred personhood, and full humanity


Editor's 1-Minute Essay: 




return to "Joy" main-page



the difference between happiness and joy

Many people use “happiness” and “joy” interchangeably. For purposes of general conversation, meaning is not sacrificed. But this easy exchange of words becomes an issue when we want to differentiate between fleeting pleasures of life and those which never recede.

Materialists believe that all pleasantness is temporary; that it’s an “epiphenomenon,” a secondary, mere by-product, of fuctionings of the brain, which, in turn, is the end result of “upward causation,” atoms to molecules to organic life to cells to bodily organs – all the way up to, what they feel is, the master control, the brain. In this view, consciousness itself is an illusion, more epiphenomenality of the brain. To the hard-core materialist, there is no such thing as timeless love, no enduring bonds between people, no hope of an afterlife. It all stops when the brain dies. Just empty, haunting abyss.

And if the materialists were correct in their dystopian outlook, then a ready commutation of “happiness” and “joy” would be justified. But materialism is an illusion. Quantum physics has substantially quashed it, and, at the time of this writing, new experiments, variations of the old “double-slit,” will soon close-off convenient excuses and escape-hatches of materialist rationalization. This is big news, but we’ll avoid the temptation of discussing it right now.

Happiness is a perfectly good word, and we hope to use it more often, but it relates to “happenings,” the circumstances and events of this temporal existence which, largely, and to our dismay, we cannot control. Happiness, rare as it is in this world of continual “pokes and jabs” to our well-being, does not last; nothing intrinsically of this world lasts. It’s part of a swirling process of continual change and flux. Good luck to us if we hope to find enduring happiness here.


what is it to live, but to feel the life in you down all the fibres of being, passionately and joyfully

Elizabeth's love letter to Robert, March 20, 1845: “You seem to have drunken of the cup of life full, with the sun shining on it. I have lived only inwardly; or with sorrow, for a strong emotion. Before this seclusion of my illness, I was secluded still … I grew up in the country – had no social opportunities, had my heart in books and poetry … My sympathies drooped toward the ground like an untrained honeysuckle… It was a lonely life... Books and dreams are what I lived in…

what is it to live

"And so time passes and passed – and afterwards, when my illness came, I seemed to stand at the edge of the world with all done … I turned to thinking with some bitterness that I had stood blind in the temple [of life] I was about to leave – that I had seen no Human nature, that my brothers and sisters of the earth were [mere] names to me, that I had beheld no great mountain or river, nothing in fact… I am, in a manner, as a blind poet…  how willingly I would as a poet exchange some of this lumbering, ponderous, helpless knowledge of books, for some experience of life and man… What is to live? Not to eat and drink and breathe, -- but to feel the life in you down all the fibres of being, passionately and joyfully.”

before I knew you, what was I and where? what was the world to me and the meaning of life?

Elizabeth’s love letter to Robert, February 24, 1846: “I am living for you now. And before I knew you, what was I and where? What was the world to me … and the meaning of life? … Then, when you came, you never went away… Do you know that … I was frightened of you? … I felt as if you had a power over me and [you] meant to use it, and that I could not breathe or speak very differently from what you chose to make me. As to my thoughts … you read them as you read the newspaper – examined them, and fastened them down, writhing under your long entomological pins [that is, like an insect pinned to a chart for study]. But the power was used upon me – and I saw … very early … that you had come here to love whomever you should find [the spirit revealed in my writings; no matter my faults or imperfections, as you loved these, too; you loved me "not for a reason"; further, my early attempts at self-effacement and deflecting your love] had just operated in making you more determined [to reach me]… But I may say before God and you, that of all the events of my life, inclusive of its afflictions, nothing has humbled me so much as your love [which] has been to me like God’s own [unconditional] love, which makes the receivers of it kneelers.

how can it make me happy, such a thing as my life? it never made me happy, without you

Elizabeth’s love letter to Robert, May 20, 1846: "... while the heart beats, which beats for you… my life, it is yours, as this year has been yours. But how can it make me happy, such a thing as my life? There, I wonder still. It never made me happy, without you.”




joy is the soul taking delight in its own existence 

Joy is different. Much different. Joy is part of the settled mind of God; probably, the essential attribute. We bring to our attention Professor Myers’s testimony from the afterlife who asserts that “made in the image” essentially means accessing divine Joy.

Joy comes to us by “going within.” Joy is not founded upon a chemical-cocktail of the brain; it is not primarily an emotion of the body. It represents a shift, a ratcheting upward, of one's level of consciousness. It’s part of that “ever-flowing artesian spring of eternal life,” a metaphor Jesus used [John 4]. We draw "the joy" from the depths by tapping the riches of our own deepest self; which is where we “meet” God, the “holy of holies” of our sacred person.

In times of calamity and great loss, we cannot be “happy.” Of course not. Happiness, by definition, is a pleasure linked to fortuitous events. But, in those times of sadness and sorrow, we can know peace and joy. To this the apostle Paul referred in his comment, "the peace that passes all [materialistic] understanding."

Joy is part of the soul’s very nature. The “soul” is our center of consciousness. And this is linked to what we call “God,” Universal Consciousness. Consciousness could be called the "God essence." The Bible itself intimates as much: God’s name is given as “I Am That I Am” – in other words, “The One Who Simply Exists” or "The Self-Existent One," without beginning or end. In The Wedding Song we discussed "God as All-Pervasive Reality."

And when we unlock the door of the inner person, the inherent riches of having been “made in the image,” then, “the joy” becomes part of the “ever-flowing artesian spring,” bubbling up to the surface of personhood.

Allow me to quote a Spirit Guide from the discussions in "Prometheus":

The earthly romantic thrill and happiness is not necessarily the same as true love. Allow me to state the general rule: Happiness derives from "happenings," which is something external, but nothing external can ever satisfy us. Only Twins experience the healing balm of romantic Joy, which issues from the depths of the sacred soul, and it is this, only this Joy, that might fill our desires.


what about when there are no others

Once you’ve learned how to tap into “the joy,” it’s always there; it never stops, never goes away. Essentially, “the joy” is the soul taking delight in its own existence. It is “the joy” of being. It’s not directly related to other things that make us happy, such as, delighting in children or serving others. “The joy” continues, resides deep within, even when there are no others. Kairissi and Elenchus discussed this issue with Day Star and Big Water in “Prometheus.”

That which is called the joy of creativity is a happiness unleashed at the advent of producing something new. This elation could, in part, also be "the joy" as it might be "the soul delighting in itself." But, to clarify, “the joy” is not dependent on writing a new book or producing a new painting; it’s there all the time, even when we’re vegging or lollygagging.

When I say “it’s there all the time,” I do not mean to imply “to the same degree.” Sometimes “the joy” is full throttle and wide open, while other times it might be drowsily governed down. But it’s always there, ready to be “fanned into flames” as required.



Editor's note: For advice on accessing "the joy" of the inner person, you'll want to study these books.




the other, who is no other

We’ve posed a question concerning “when there are no others.” It’s an important clarification because “the joy,” at core essence, is the soul delighting in its own existence. But what about the case concerning a certain “other” from whom we are never separated? I’m thinking, of course, of the Twin Soul. Well, mystics, Spirit Guides, and even quantum physicists now, preach that we are all connected and never truly separated from anyone.

Let’s grant that point of debate, but even so, we all know there’s difference when it comes to the Sacred Beloved. She is the one with whom you will enter the status of "One Person." When she comes into your life – yes, there will be plenty of “happiness” with all of the things you will do and experience together, but – “the joy” will now take on new meaning, new depth: "the joy," if it were possible, now becomes super-charged, intoxicated, radioactive. Your love and joy for her never abate; never grow less, only more; persist even during times when you might not be altogether pleased with events, that is, you might not always be “happy” with everything she does, but you will never, ever “fall out of joy” with her.


joy of man's desiring...


Johann Sebastian Bach (1685 - 1750)

From a long-ago college lecture on the history of music, I recall a story about Johann Sebastian Bach. As a young musician and composer, he tried to secure employment in his village church. Several candidates were interviewed. Bach didn’t get the job; in fact, he wasn’t even second choice for the local ruling clergy.

As it happened, however, others tapped for the work, for whatever reason, could not accept the position. And I still remember the lecturer’s sardonic observation: “And so they had to settle for Johann Sebastian Bach.” That is funny. How often in life the most qualified and talented is overlooked due to politics, envy, or incompetence. But let’s not get into that right now.

Bach deserves a mention in this article for his famous and absolutely wonderful, "Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring." We shall not enter into protracted discussion of the theme suggested by the title, as we’ve covered this material before (see on the “God” and “Jesus” pages).

But, in summary, let it be said that Jesus is not the ultimate joy of man’s desiring. That kind of talk, an empty emotionalism, disturbs, embarrasses, and irritates our Brother Joshua. Those who think they feel this way are living on an immature, lower level of consciousness – fear, guilt, shame -- one reflecting a self-loathing. It is the needy child looking for a strong father-figure.



But why should we trouble ourselves with these abstractions? Let’s ask people who really know about this to explain it.



Kairissi. So, buddy, the author has asked us to talk about romantic joy. Do we know something about this?

Elenchus. Depends which day you ask me.

K. (softly laughing) C’mon now, be a good sport, chum – just because you’ve been trying to get rid of me all of your life.

E. (small smile) I’ll succeed yet, or my name isn’t Wile E. Coyote.

K. (softly laughing) Well, I just happen to have an “Acme Happiness Kit” for you, Wile E.

E. mmm… How does it work?

K. It’s pretty simple. In the “kit” is a box of “stardust joy.” See, whenever I do something you might not be fully eye-to-eye with, I just sprinkle everything with “stardust joy,” and now even the ordinary “happenings” of life seem wonderful to you. It just colors everything.

E. That’s not fair. “The joy” I have for you is being used against me.

K. (small smile)

E. Well, you actually make a good point. “The joy” does color everything for Twins.

K. One of the big tests of love is, “Who is the one person you’d like to do everything with?” – even the little things, the tedious chores of life. I’m not saying that taking out the garbage or cleaning a bathroom is like a night on the town, but, even mundane tasks take on a certain “color” of subtle celebration. Underlying the banality of “chopping wood and drawing water,” there’s a hint of rejoicing, a “stardust of joy” that fills the air.

E. It does make dusting the living room a little harder though.

K. (small smile)

E. Alright, Kriss, since “Love” is your domain, tell us how it differs from “the joy.”

K. Well… in The Wedding Song we said that love is a recognition of the “one life” within all of God’s creatures and creation. But Twins draw this life from each other, and enter a knowing of it, in a special way. This exquisite and intensified perception of shared “one life,” of oneness, is what we commonly call romantic feelings.

E. How does “the joy,” the soul delighting in its own existence, relate to Twin love?

K. It’s intertwined. While the “soul,” an “individualized consciousness unit,” was made “perfect,” that is, in God’s “image,” it seems that it cannot know itself, to the degree which it desires, without the aid of a Twin Soul lover.

both ‘whole’ and ‘part’, individually assertive yet of something larger

Editor’s note: The concept that we, as human beings, souls, made in the image, are perfect, in need of nothing at core essence, and yet requiring something more, leads us to the term “holon.” It’s a Greek word meaning “whole and part.”

“The term was coined by Arthur Koestler in The Ghost in the Machine (1967). In Koestler's formulations, a holon is something that has integrity and identity while simultaneously being a part of a larger system; it is a subsystem of a greater system… The notion of a holon emerges from the observation that everything in nature is both a whole and a part. This is true of atoms, which are whole in themselves, but also parts of molecules; molecules, which can be both whole and part of cells; and cells, which are both autonomous units and parts of organisms. It is also true for human beings, who have an independent life [but] are part of social systems. Every holon is willing to express two contradictory tendencies: to express itself, and to disappear into something greater.” (quotations from Wikipedia)


E. This “drawing of life,” as The Wedding Song uses the phrase, reaches for depths of being seemingly inaccessible without the impetus of Twin love. In other words, he'll do things for her that he wouldn't do for himself.

K. This seems to be the case and, by extension, "the joy" becomes auxiliary aid, a catalyst, to evolvement. A resultant desire to grow, which is also a desire to please the Beloved, leads us to the purpose of sacred marriage.

E. I suddenly feel myself cosmically manipulated.

K. (smiling) I think there are aspects you like very much, though.

E. mmm… Ok, say more about “the joy” as the soul delighting in itself.

K. We are entering an area of very deep mystery. In some sense Twins are, and are destined to become, the metaphoric One Person. Some Spirit-Guides say that Twins create an individuality, a kind of joint-soul. While they are distinct persons, they are also One Person. We don’t know what this means exactly right now, but surely it has something to do with a super-connection, a kind of shared personhood.

E. This would mean that “the joy” of the soul knowing itself would become a joint-knowing -- a "multi-player game."

K. I believe in a certain way this is true, and therefore Twins would experience “the joy” on an elevated, expanded level.

E. These are things we'll be investigating and meditating on for the next million years and beyond.

K. (sighing) Yes… 

E. I think we’ve completed the assignment given by the author – as much as it can be completed right now -- but I’d like to talk about “the joy” as it relates to a practical issue for lovers.

K. What are you thinking, Ellus?

E. During those many years when we weren’t together, I discovered, by accident, that “the joy” could be used as a kind of “Geiger counter” to find the true mate.

K. I think everyone would like to know about this.

E. I had known “the joy” with you in earlier years, but had emotionally removed myself from you, wanting to put you out of my mind. I’m reminded of the quote by Nalini Singh: “We cannot forget joy. No matter how deep our rage and pain.”

K. (sighing)

E. I tried to forget you, to repress your image in my heart. I was very angry with you, more than I realized, about what had happened to us. I won’t go into it here, but there were things I did to avoid activating your memory; which is another way of saying, activating “the joy.” Subliminally, I knew that if “the joy” were allowed to resurface, I’d be pretty messed up and couldn’t live with myself. And so, I would learn by experience, “we cannot forget joy.”

K. (very softly) I think "the joy" will always be with us. Remember that poetic response of yours? I once asked if you recalled an event which, in our early years, became a “peak experience,” even, our “constructive assent,” and you said, “Yes, Beloved, I remember… I remember little else.” I was so taken by your words, Elenchus... But, tell me more of this “Geiger counter.”

E. During that time apart from you… I would come to know various beautiful, talented, and gracious women… and I would ask myself… “I have been privileged to meet two or three ‘perfect’ girls; perfect in every way. They offer everything a man could want. And yet… I know there’s something missing…”

K. (silence)

E. It took me a long time to understand. But, when finally I did, it was also time for me to dedicate myself to making my way back to you.

K. (softly) What did you begin to understand?

E. These “perfect” girls – were not “perfect” for me. I was extremely thrilled to know them, it was more than wonderful to be with them, but… every man named John might say these things in the beginning.

K. (silence)

E. I finally perceived that they offered me everything except “the joy.” With all of their perfection, with all of their intent and desire to give me what I wanted -- or thought I wanted -- they couldn’t manufacture it for me. And I realized, to my incessant amazement, there was one time, just one time, in my whole life when I possessed that kind of joy… when I was with you, a long time ago.

K. (softly) One time, with one girl.

E. That's right.

K. During our time of unenlightenment, Ellus, when "the joy" is either unknown to us or has been carefully buried, we all play the roles of John and Mary. We don't know any better. We arrange our lives by the philosophy of "there're lots of fish in the sea," and if one "pretty fish" doesn't make us happy, well then, we'll just get a new one and try again. It's all quite dehumanizing.

E. This mechanical interview-process can be very deceptive. A young man named John led around by his mammalian instincts has virtually no hope of sorting this out. He won't get what he thinks he wants, and he'll end up making Mary very unhappy. I'm thinking of something specific. To be with a beautiful woman, especially late at night, is extremely comforting -- I mean, "beautiful" in every way, not just in body, but in spirit and personality, the soft tone of her voice, her sense of the sublime and aesthetics, the acuity of her intellect and perspicacity, along with charm and gracious ways.

K. (sighing)

E. I'm reminded of Dr. Ernest Becker's phrase: "...the veritable goddesses that beautiful women are."

K. (silence)

E. After a hard day in a harsh world, to have one's arms around such a goddess-woman, soft and tender, solicitous and warming, is extremely comforting. So much so, that this sense of delicious comfort, for a time, can be mistaken for true love and even "the joy."

K. It's the same for her, in a corresponding way. She derives great pleasure from her efforts to please him, to endear herself to him, and so, especially early on, she eagerly offers him comfort; and in this sweet symbiosis, John and Mary will allow "comfort" to serve as proxy for "the joy."

E. The sense of "comfort" can last for some time, especially if Mary is of excellent spirit and continues to work hard at pleasing John. Her natural womanly skills of charm and grace can take them a good distance. However, a day comes when "comfort" no longer seems as fulfilling; and, in that day of realization, with perceptions of "emptiness" beginning to invade, both parties sense something is quite wrong.

K. Even the intoxicating "comfort" in the middle of the night, after a time, will not compete with that most important missing element of authentic romance -- "the joy."

E. (sighing) It takes John awhile, if at all in this life, to realize and to believe that "comfort" will not satisfy him for 50 years. He had imagined that pretty Mary would serve as pleasure-source for a lifetime, but... before long there's "trouble in paradise" and both partners feel the emotional distance.

K. (softly) This happens even to John-and-Mary couples with the best of intentions. It takes a certain level of maturity and spiritual insight to perceive the difference between "the comfort" and "the joy."

E. They are not the same by any means. Those who've experienced the latter could never be fooled again, and would never settle for the former.

K. (very softly laughing) Let me interrupt us for a moment to say that "comfort and joy" sounds like a Christmas carol.

E. (small smile) That's the only forum in which they're somewhat equal.

K. (very softly laughing) And will they find us next spring?

E. (softly laughing) You still remember that.

K. (smiling) Of course -- but we must wait for a future holodeck-world to manifest our private image of Christmas delight. But right now we should not entertain this tangent-thought.

E. (smiling)

K. Ellus, I believe that God brings Twins together by perceptions of “the joy.” Finally, we learn, or are willing to admit, that “the joy” is not a fungible product, cannot be gained from just any “pretty fish in the sea,” but… to be received from only one. When we come to see and accept this, then we will do whatever we have to do, or wait as long as we have to wait, in order to return, as Dr. Campbell said, to that one particular person who showed us “the joy.”

E. Perceiving "the joy" is a life-defining event. We're never the same after that. It changes us from the inside out. It begins to sweep away elements of materialism in our lives.Though we might live a million years, and much longer, we will always remember that first moment, that "first sight" of the Beloved.

K. (softly) It's as you said, Elenchus -- "I remember little else."

E. And it’s like a homing device, isn’t it? – or, a Geiger counter.

K. The "Geiger counter" identifies "the joy" and tells us where the radioactivity is coming from, and the "homing device" reveals the “true mate,” the apparent source of "the joy"; rather, the true mate holds the key, unlocking "the joy" within the Beloved.

E. I still find it hard to believe -- astonishing, really -- that those “perfect” girls could not give me what I wanted.

K. None of them held the key, Elenchus.

E. (sighing)

K. The key is more than a pretty face. "The comfort" of companionship and animal thrill, for a time, seems so overwhelmingly satisfying -- no wonder John and Mary smile such big smiles for the cameras on their wedding day. For a while, they really believe it; they're really convinced they've found the holy grail of happiness in each other. But mere comfort and thrill will yet devolve to "barren wilderness without blossoming rose." Those biggest smiles of their lives have a "nasty habit of disappearing overnight."

E. I'll say it again -- for me it was so astonishing that these "perfect" women could not make me feel whole. I think my amazement was rooted in the fact that they weren't just ordinary girls, they were super-girls, much more than pretty faces -- wonderful and talented persons. Sometimes, to this day, at a late hour in the darkness, as Spirit instructs me, I still find myself astounded at this disconnect with them. And yet -- there it is! I feel "the emptiness” in their stellar presence -- “the joy” is missing; and in those moments of late-night clarity, I see plainly that if I were to be with one of them, I would soon make both of us miserable.


I'm no good to anyone after loving you... 

 After Loving You, Elvis

your precious love cannot be erased by just another woman with a pretty face, and your memory, you know it will remain, for it cannot be erased… that's 'cause I'm no good, I'm no good to anyone, after loving you...



E. Miserable – because, first, I’d suffer existential crisis without “the joy,” and would begin to judge my life as without meaning and purpose.

K. (softly) We were made to live in “the joy”; it speaks to the purpose of why we were created; we need "the joy" as the air we breathe.

E. I believe this is true; but another reason for "crsis," despite being with a "perfect" girl, I would begin to dream of you, and wish for you – the one with whom I’d known “the joy”; and the "perfect" girl would sense my heart drifting from her, and this would hurt her.

K (sighing)

E. Imagine that! Can you think of a more terrible predicament? -- a man having his arms around a beautiful woman, which action in itself indicates a profession of love, but, all the while, denying it by imagining being with another girl! That's really bad. When that happens, you just have to get out of that relationship as soon as you can, or you will ruin your conscience and character. No good can come from it.

K. (softly) And this is why, when Twins finally get their “eyes in their heads,” they will wait for each other, and live alone, touch no one, and not cause suffering for others and themselves -- this is Jesus' message in Matthew 19.

E. I have one more thing to say about “the joy.” It’s what we talked about in The Wedding Song, about the “hot-water bottle worlds” and how dysfunctional people on the other side try to climb to so-called higher planes with greener grass and brighter flowers.

K. We came to realize that these psychologically-needy people were trying to escape the emptiness in their lives; even though, purportedly, they present themselves as “advanced beings.” To our dismay, we learned that many of these people hope to reach a “seventh heaven” and, like lemmings rushing over a cliff, plan to hurl themselves into a vast, identity-less ocean, which, in giving up their personalities, they say, will make them more “one with God.” How misguided! Where's the logic? Look at all the trouble God and the Guides have gone through to individualize us, and then we're supposed to flush it all away at the end? That's sick.

E. It’s pretty disgusting. What’s really happening here is that, despite all the self-righteous “god-talk,” their lives are just plain miserable. They are unable to sit quietly in a small room, as Kenneth Clark said, and simply enjoy the solace of their own minds. They know nothing of “the joy.” In their malaise of self-loathing and despair they become poster-children for Hoffer’s spoiled self.

K. And that’s why their present view of highest pleasure is to be rid of their own Selves by jumping into a nameless void.

E. The great lesson for all of us is this: We were made to know and to live in “the joy.” It is the greatest element of God's own mind. We can limp through life for a while without it, but eventually our own existence becomes so empty, so burdensome, without "the joy" that we will frantically seek for ways to do away with ourselves – even in the next worlds where death is not possible.

K. The Troubadour Spirit-Guides are most wise and profoundly insightful. They have seen the end of all things. Without “ultimate reality,” without receipt of “the joy,” we will arrive at a point in our lives where we’ll struggle to find a reason, as the poet says, to “stay alive for” -- and we won’t be able to come up with a good answer. That's when the final melodrama starts.

E. Finding "the joy," in the end, becomes a matter of preserving one's sanity; without "the joy," nothing will be worth it.


Ode To Billie JoeBobbie Gentry (1967)

"There was a virus going 'round, Papa caught it, and he died last Spring, and now Mama doesn't seem to wanna do much of anything..."


K. “Mama” lost her reason to “stay alive for.”

E. Sometimes, couples, especially the younger ones, make cute comments about “she is my life” and that sort of thing. But, even if their love is true, they might not yet realize just how dangerous and deadly is the loss of one’s love, one’s reason to “stay alive for.”

K. “The joy” is serious business. But, Ellus, I want to say something about a watered-down version of this. We've heard of gurus from Eastern religions who speak of the “bliss” of going within and finding joy. Well, this is true, of course, and we talk about the same. But I have a problem with them, in that, they seem to imply that the highest levels of “the joy” might be accessed by oneself, alone. I just don’t believe that, Ellus – I don’t feel it.

E. To view the highest order of “the joy” as a solo act, a self-stimulation, I think, is a perversion of the process.

K. If we were created to live alone, as reclusive hermits and pillar-solitarians, then their preaching would make sense. But I have lived through this, and I have experienced both what they talk about and what we have together, and no one could ever convince me that the best of “the joy” comes by way of singularity.

E. I think the gurus mean well, but obviously that’s all they know. We learned from the Troubadour Guides that almost no one on this planet has experienced the real love and, therefore, the real joy.

K. And yet almost every young married couple thinks they have it. You just can’t trust Mary to be objective in these matters – she’s so hard-wired to want her babies and home-and-hearth that, so often, she’ll convince herself that whatever John brings to her is a “good” marriage. She wants to believe this so much and works hard to make it work. All of her womanly sensibilities cry out for success with her nest-building. 

E. Is she the lady who "protesteth too much"?

K. I think she is; even when that "still small voice" within whispers "danger ahead," she'll put on a brave face and try to make it all work.

E. She's like the gurus who've never known the real thing, and so she imagines "this is it, I guess" and is left defending second- or third-best.

K. Mary is like the character is Russell Crowe's movie "The Next Three Days," criticized with, "You want this too much! You're gonna **** it up."

E. And she does. But if you try to tell blinded Mary any of this while she's in high flight, craving the "good life," then she's not likely to listen to others' advice, parents or friends.

K. This reminds me of Karen Carpenter, an incredibly sweet girl who became America's Sweetheart. In a BBC documentary of her life, an interviewed girlfriend spoke of Karen's ill-fated marriage: Karen had very traditional aspirations for family and children. She wanted so much that "white picket fence" and glowing fireplace in the living room, those Christmas mornings adorned with kids' presents, and tooth-fairies for tots.

E. It's all very sad because the "white picket fence," the cozy, well-ordered family home, is a wonderful thing. But, if "you want it too much," to the exclusion of the better angels of your nature, it won't work out well. It has to be at the right time and with the right person.

K. Karen rushed into a marriage with a handsome, smiling, businessman who wasn't right for her at all, and her dreams fell apart pretty quickly. She allowed maternal instincts to overrule her head.

E. It's very hard for Mary to be unbiased in these matters. She wants it too much.

K. Once she allows herself to enter "the zone" of maternal instincts, she'll be on auto-pilot, defending the den and the cubs.

E. She'll be very hard to reach then, and she won't give this up easily. She'd almost rather go down with the ship.

K. It's how she sees things right now, and it all seems so right and normal on that level of consciousness. This will not change for her until she's suffered her way into a better point of view.

E. Eventually – probably not in this world, but – lightning will strike, and the real love brings us tumbling down; and then we’ll realize what the Troubadours said was true, that we had no idea what “the joy” really is until we meet it in the Sacred Beloved.

K. John and Mary have yet to understand that the pleasures and happiness of family life, even if attained, albeit sporadically or rarely, is something very different from "the joy."

E. Krissi, you’ve shared a personal experience and I will do the same… I have learned that ultimate Joy is a person… she comes to me with a beautiful face and soft tone of voice… and, even more, she helps me access "the joy" within, to infinite depths the gurus never thought about.

K. (small smile) An upgraded software version of "comfort and joy"?

E. Now available as a holiday matched set, just in time for Christmas.

K. (smiling)


blue lagoon love

Scientist/Mystic Emmanuel Swedenborg of the 1700s reports, via his psychic visions of Summerland, that the chief source of joy in the next life is derived from living life with one’s Twin Soul mate.

The following is an excerpt from his writings. A Spirit Guide on the other side speaks to him (in words very similar to what we found from Spirit Guide Margaret).

our heavenly delights are principally derived from Twin Soul romantic love

"We are aware that no one on earth as yet knows what true conjugial love is... and yet it is of importance that it should be known: therefore [we will] open the heavens to you in order that illustrating light, and consequent perception may flow into the interiors of your mind. With us, in the heavens, especially in the third heaven [Summerland, and beyond], our heavenly delights are principally derived from conjugial love..."

joking and playing together, like wildly happy children

I’m not able to find the reference right now, but somewhere in Swedenborg’s reports he says, essentially, you can tell who're the ones in Summerland who’ve found the real romance, the Twin Soul lovers. He said it’s easy to spot them because they have a certain ecstatic joy about them, they so love to have fun with each other. I think he meant, “like continuing to live as ‘just marrieds’ all the time.” They’re always kidding around, with that sparkle in their eyes, obviously so delighted to be with each other.

The image that comes to mind is the children on the desert island, the original version of “Blue Lagoon” – swimming, playing tag under water, laughing so much, teasing… I think we’re all envious now.

Special note: The following is spoken by Tim, in the afterlife, channeled information, as he communicated with his mortal friend, a New York psychiatrist, August Goforth, author of, "The Risen." August was asked about the most important messages received from Tim:

The very structure of the Intelligent Universe is light and music - singing, talking, and laughing. Life is real and death is not, so there is nothing to fear, unless you fear life’s light-filled music. Death is not the end to life but another beginning, another birth. It is a door, a passage to more life, more than we could possibly imagine."

This makes absolute sense to me; other Spirit Guides say similar things. If the ecstasy enjoyed by Twins represents ultimate reality, then we should expect their joyous reverie, an inner music and laughter, to reflect a very high order of reality, the mind of God.


The following is reprinted from The Wedding Song, verse-two page:

K. Elenchus, I’d like to say a word more about this joy that Twins experience. It seems to me just now, somewhat forcibly, that joy and love are not really the same.

E. Should love and joy be put in separate categories?

K. Maybe I misspoke. I think they are the same, but it seems to me that joy is love on steroids, joy is love dancing.

E. Say more on this.

K. Think back to the author’s discussion of God’s life embedded even in the lowly stone; that, all of creation might be viewed on a continuum, from the humble stone all the way up to the awesome spiral galaxy.

E. (silence)

K. And if you quiet your mind, and go within, you can begin to sense an affinity, a oneness, with all of God’s creation, from low to high.

E. And this perception of connectedness with the “life within” is what we commonly refer to as love.

K. That’s right. And as we know, there are different degrees of love, but, strictly speaking, it’s all of a piece. But what I wanted to point out is that there’s a certain banality concerning love. It’s almost impossible not to experience it.

E. Once we remove the egoic blockages to linkage to all things.

K. I think so. And what this means is that, speaking of romantic love, as the old song lyric has it, “It’s so easy to fall in love.”

E. You might say it’s our natural state. Once we feel God’s life within all elements of creation, it’s almost unnatural not to experience the love.

K. And yet, think about this. We all agree with Buddy Holly that “it’s so easy to fall in love” - but it’s not so easy to “fall into joy,” if you see what I mean.

E. So, you’re saying that, while joy is an advanced state of love, almost no one gets to have the high-grade plutonium stuff.

K. And here’s the deal. When you find that “one particular” person, as Dr. Campbell puts it, who plunges you into “the joy,” then, my friend, you have found your eternal romantic Twin Soul.

E. (silence)

K. It’s not our purpose to minimize love, as we need more of it; and yet, from another perspective, it’s like the baseball trading card that they made too many of and all the kids have it in their collections.

E. But no one has “the joy” card.

K. That’ll run you a few dollars more. John and Mary are so thrilled to have found someone to love, but – we hate to break the news to them – this is all common fare and "so easy” to fall into.

E. Kriss, I’m seeing just now that – strange to say it, but – the defining characteristic of Mother-Father God’s mind is not love! yes, of course, their very beings are composed of it, but what really sets them apart is “the joy.” It’s love dancing, as you say.

K. And this is why the great Spirit Guides have gone on record to assert that the sum-and-substance of what it means to be “made in the image” is to emulate Divinity’s joy.

E. This is so mysterious, and so astounding! The most rarified levels of joy are obtainable only from one’s sacred beloved.

K. Don’t say I never you gave you nuthin’.

E. Uh-huh.

K. Elenchus, I’ve been giving some thought to what we said about joy as a higher-order expression of love. But I’m having trouble seeing the logical flow.

E. What’s giving you pause, Kriss?

K. Well, we’ve said that love is feeling a connectedness, an affinity, between aspects of God’s creation. It could be a sense of oneness between myself and a small child, or with a little bird, or even with an inanimate object like a stone. In each of these cases, there’s a sense of connectedness between myself and some external other. But joy seems to be different; or, at least, sometimes it’s different.

E. How is it different?

K. It’s hard to explain. We say that the sacred beloved becomes an agent for the manifesting of joy. That could make sense because there are two individuals, a Twin Soul couple, who, together, experience a higher degree of the oneness than with anyone else or by any other means. This highest-grade love we've called joy. All this makes sense to me, until I begin to realize that there are, what I believe to be, other expressions of joy. These versions of joy might not be as intense as what Twins experience, but, I think, need be classified as joy.

E. Can you give me an example?

K. Saints, mystics, and seers report that, when they “go within” and experience God, they very frequently speak of such encounter in terms of joy. And I think “joy” is the correct term for meeting God within the inner person, the soul. But, here’s where I get into difficulty. If joy is an expanded version of love, don’t we need two parties to the process in order to feel the connectedness? Now some would say, “The two parties to the process are you and God.” I suppose that might offer some logic here, but, as we could make God a party to everything we do and experience, I’m not sure that’s it. I say this because there are other encounters with joy that seem to be one-dimensional. For example, sometimes we experience examples of beauty in the natural world – a sunset, a rose blossom, a shimmering placid lake, a starry night -- which are so overwhelmingly beautiful that our response is more than love; it’s a fervent and dedicated joy.

E. Krissi, I believe you are thinking clearly and we need to go deeper here. Whenever we meet an idea that seems to contradict what we know as “the truth,” then either our earlier views of truth are in error or the new data is mischaracterized.

K. In other words, the new data might very will fit together with what we know to be true if we could see the new idea for what it really is.

E. I think so.

K. So, what am I missing here? In order to have feelings of love and, by extension, joy, don’t we need two elements to be reconciled?

E. In a sense, yes, but sometimes the two elements to be reconciled are not external elements in the world but two elements within our own persons.

K. mmm… That’s an interesting idea. What do you mean, Ellus?

E. As you know, we’ve discussed at length the universal problem of the dysfunctional ego. The “Course In Miracles” sometimes uses the phrase “split brain” in reference to this issue.

K. Ok, I think I’m seeing where this is going.

E. I think you do. “Split brain” speaks to the raging inner conflict which all human beings must deal with: the antipathy between the “false self” and the “true self.”

K. Yes, of course, I should have seen that. When the “false self” runs our lives, we’re blind in so many ways. The ego blocks a great deal of higher-level perception.

E. And so, another way of looking at discovering “the joy” is that of gaining a unity of Self, an inner integration.

K. And this “unity,” this “integration,” provides a veritable coming together of what had been disparate elements within the Self.

E. I would argue to that end.

K. (sighing) This is a marvelous concept, Ellus.

E. (small smile) Is it engendering joy for you?

K. I would say so. And I’m getting something new. I always like looking at familiar concepts but suddenly seeing them in a brand new light.

E. Very good.

K. I think Twins experience “the joy” as a kind of double-whammy; they get it from two directions. First, their joy is simply the result of intense love; that’s pretty easy to understand. But then, they also achieve the high-level joy as a result of entering the status of the sacred One Person.

E. That’s beautiful, Kriss. The “unity of Self” and the “inner integration” take on new dimensions with their mystical One Person intimacy. This is a great idea of yours.

K. Thank you – but wait! Even just now as we speak I’m seeing it more clearly. These things are so hard to verbalize.

E. Just relax, and let it flow.

K. (sighing) Twins experience “the joy” in two different ways: as we said, (1) their joy is simply an expression of their intense love for each other, their exquisite sense of oneness.

E. And that’s the easy part to understand.

K. But they also experience “the joy” as (2) a function of the “unity of Self” and the “inner integration.” And this is a little harder to understand, but I think I’m getting it now. The most basic level of joy is that of delighting in one’s own existence.

E. The joy of simply being alive.

K. Yes. This is the most fundamental level of joy, but not necessarily the most intense. The prize of “most intense” is still derived from the romantic Twins and (1) their sense of affinity and oneness.

E. (small smile) As Big Water might have said, they do rather cheat at this.

K. (softly laughing) They always have the advantage of knowing the most intensified form of love.

E. (small smile)

K. But, as it turns out, they also have the “home court” advantage of the second aspect of joy, as well.

E. Explain that to me.

K. Allow me to restate: The most basic form of “the joy” is that of reveling in one’s own existence; as you said, the joy of simply being alive. This form of joy is experienced by mystics and seers. They experience this form of joy because, as they go within, they discover the “true self” and begin to put away the “false self.” And when they do, the natural result is a joy centered upon one’s own existence.

E. (silence)

K. I believe that Twins also experience this secondary form of joy. They do so because they too have begun to put away the “false self.”

E. In fact, they would not even be able to find each other without discovering the “true self.”

K. That’s right. And so Twins have also known the joy of being alive. But here’s where it gets really interesting. Having known the joy of being alive, as a function of discovering the “true self,” they now enter the magical-mystical world of the sacred One Person, which metaphor speaks to the great spiritual intimacy, their melding of spirits, hearts, and souls. And when their very beings come together in this way, the joy of living seems to undergo a ratcheting up of vitality.

E. This is an excellent insight, Kriss. I’m excited to see this, too. What this seems to mean is, when they enter the One Person status, everything’s compounded, their individual perceptions of the joy of living become united. And we’ve talked about this! – now, everything for them takes on a caste of the marvelous.

K. All of life seems to sparkle for them. The formerly mundane activities now shimmer and glisten with the joy of living. And why? – because they can do everything together, all things in life can now be shared. And this is what they want most of all, even more than the pleasures of the body; they want to enjoy and experience all of life – together, as Darling Companions.



Editor's last word:

If I were asked for a very short answer to the question “What is the purpose of life?” I would have to say, "It's to enjoy our own existence."

Those who value a work-ethic might decry this definition as libertinism, something light and frivolous: “Should we not be serving others? Should we not be out there, making something, ‘conquering the wilderness,’ building some empire, transforming the desert into productive plain”? I understand all that.

Service and work have their place in a well-ordered life, but this is not what we "stay alive for." And if that's all you have, if you defy this precept, attempting to construct your existence upon "doing" rather than "being," untempered work-ethic will one day destroy you. (We discussed this in “Prometheus.”)

Regarding “work-ethic,” I know something about this. I grew up in a German farming community, among sons and daughters of pioneers, personifications of will, for whom work-ethic had become a god. But, in the end, without something more, work-ethic, for many, became self-defeating, issuing as dehumanizing effect upon the human spirit.

Unless a time arrives when enjoying one’s own existence becomes primary focus, all of the striving to build and produce, all of the heroic hard work and great toil, will offer no particle of reason to "stay alive for." 

In the final chapter of the pioneers' fortitude, determined Spartan effort -- that which might have begun as noble work-ethic - collapses under a heavy burden of materialism, producing an anti-humanistic topor of mind, with no capacity remaining to appreciate a sunrise, a flower, or a bird's song. All had been sacrificed upon the altar of work-ethic, with differing opinions counted as abject weakness and just-good-for-nothing.

In this state of hardened, prideful stupefaction, one becomes a candidate for a protracted visit to the Dark Realmssuch that only grace can save us; that is, the missionary efforts of the Guides who might reintroduce us to "the joy."

salvation at blue lagoon

Stated another way: Unless we can look forward to a life of love, with a particular one, on a "Blue Lagoon" beach some day, we will not be able to survive the terrors of eternal life.