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Word Gems 

exploring self-realization, sacred personhood, and full humanity


 

Editor's 1-Minute Essay:

Aloneness

 


 

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“Men and women sleep not with each other but with the memories, the regrets, the hopes of unions yet to come. Our adulteries are internal; they deepen our aloneness.” George Steiner

 

 

 

 

the 'holy of holies' of the mind

Somewhere, in my bible-research notes from decades ago, there is reference to metaphoric assertions in the New Testament, as I recall, from Paul and John (sounds like the Beatles), concerning a concept of sacred aloneness.

A Greek word for the ancient “holy of holies” in the Jewish Temple is used as synonym for the human mind. What is the significance? The high priest, alone, entered the “holy of holies” to meet personally, it was believed, with God.

The New Testament writers, in this case – not so much concerning other concepts – were onto something. At the deepest level of being, the "holy of holies" of the mind, is where we meet God – not in the “outer court,” the public gathering place of the Temple.

God is both transcendent – that is, outside our 3-D universe – but also immanent – dwelling within the “made in the image” human representation of Divinity. There is no "God in the sky" whom we might reach, but, if we are to contact God, it will happen, via whispering stillness, within the secret chambers of the soul, the hidden person of the heart, or not at all.

 

Hermann Hess and 'making your music pure'

The short-story Iris of Hermann Hess beautifully captures the sense of the sacred aloneness. He called it “making your music pure.” Each person must do this; each human being must enter the “holy of holies” of one’s own deepest person to discover one’s “true self”; and in that existential journey to the center of being, one will also find God.  

We cannot become a mature person without this accessing of the “true self” in sacred aloneness. This is why thinkers such as Ibsen speak of the sanctity of experiencing aloneness:

 

 

Henrik Ibsen, Peer Gynt, 1867: "What's a man's first duty? The answer is brief: to be himself."

Henrik Ibsen, Brand, 1884: "The man whom God wills to stay in the struggle of life, He first individualizes."

Henrik Ibsen, An Enemy of the People, 1882: "The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone."

 

 

aloneness is not loneliness

We are not stocks and stones, made of marble, as Elizabeth Barrett asserted. We were made for social communion, for love; indeed, for a special form of love with a Beloved. And assuredly we will miss that person and will feel “lonely.”

 

Editor's note: In "The Wedding Song" Kairissi and Elenchus discuss the "missing limb syndrome" which they feel to be analogous to, what they call, the "missing Twin Soul syndrome." Just as an underlying energy-field of the body signals that a missing limb "should" be there, so too another energy-field of romantic oneness will insist that a missing lover "ought" to be present. No matter how enlightened we become, we shall not grow beyond the authentic need -- as opposed to a neurotic one -- to live and love with a Sacred Beloved.

 

We must draw distinction between this normal impulse toward love-relationship and a pathological, fear-based, low-level state of mind that ever feels its own neediness of spirit.

This is the form of loneliness, and its feet-made-of-clay architectonic underpinnings, that we must bravely face in order to become fully mature, sentient, sons and daughters of God. We must make our music pure; we must remove the "static on the line," preventing us from finding, and recognizing, not only God but the Sacred Beloved, the one "made in the image," just for you.

 

Editor's note: There is a spirit of irreverence in the world which sardonically and cavalierly insists that there are “lots of fish in the sea,” that there is no such thing as a Twin Soul -- one particular lover made just for you.

I will offer you this absolute guarantee: those who dismissively reject the reality of Twin Soul love, in their materialistic mindset, will also refuse to believe in a God who is met within the “holy of holies” of the mind. If they believe in God at all, it will be a strawman-God of orthodoxy, a fantasy-God of external rules and regulations, an aloof-and-detached God met in the Temple’s “outer court,” the public gathering place of Big Religion’s church-services. In these ritualistic conclaves, in a crowd mindlessly chanting hallelujahs, true-believers will feel more lonely than at any other time of the week.

Let me also put it this way: you will find, and recognize, your Twin Soul only within the "holy of holies" of your purified mind. You must meet her there. You will never find her in the "outer court" of daily concourse and mundane social interaction. If you do attempt to find a Twin by simply embarking on a hunting expedition, a quest of externals, you will encounter, at best, a strawman-lover, a faux-lover, a mismatched-lover named "John" or "Mary." This is the history of marriage in our world; so much for the "fish in the sea" theory.

And until you do find and recognize your true one, as you begin to suffer from the "missing Twin syndrome," you will feel more lonely, more oppressed and burdened within the prison of your heart's aloneness, more than any other horror of separation or poverty in your eternal life.

 

The following books offer advice regarding making one's music pure:

 

 

 

there is a time to be alone:

“a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to gain, and a time to lose...”

Good wisdom from Ecclesiastes.

I was having some herbal tea at Panera today; on my table, one of Sheldrake’s books served as silent companion, part of my effort to explore the “evolution” subject.

Just in front of me, though – you see the unoccupied table -- two women had been chatting, at decibel-levels to include my awareness.

 

'love is not a victory march' - Leonard Cohen

One proclaimed to the other: “Today is my forty-second wedding anniversary.” I noted, however, in this declaration, there was no tone of joy; more like a cadence of achievement when one overcomes a long illness or pays off the burden of a 30-year mortgage.

Then she said: “This past weekend, though, I didn’t know if we were going to make it through to this day”; meaning, “it was pretty rough,” if you know what I mean.

Most people – anybody older than 16 -- know quite well what she means. We readily imagine this “Mary” on her wedding day, exactly 42 years ago. We see her negotiating with herself: “Ok, alright, maybe he isn’t my number one prince charming, but at least in my old age I won’t be alone.”

Has she, today, in truth, avoided aloneness? or, is she alone with someone, rather than alone by herself?

May I share with you something about this seemingly universal fear of being alone? It’s associated with many other fears: the fear of not having someone to share the daily tasks of running a household; the fear of becoming ill with no one around; the fear of entering a state of depression during the holidays or birthdays with no one near. All these, and many more, are deemed to be worse than cohabiting with someone whom, in your heart of hearts, you don’t really love.

But what if Life requires you to be alone, and you refuse the lesson?

I think it was Cher who said, “Eventually, everyone sleeps alone.” She should have added, “ – or should.” Stated a different way, eventually, Life is going to require you to be by yourself. There are many valuable lessons to be learned, for a time, by walking alone, eating alone, sleeping along – doing everything alone. It’s not meant to be pleasant. It’s part of the individuation process, the very reason and primary purpose for which you came to this difficult world.

 

 

Henrik Ibsen, Peer Gynt, 1867: "What's a man's first duty? The answer is brief: to be himself."

Henrik Ibsen, Brand, 1884: "The man whom God wills to stay in the struggle of life, He first individualizes."

Henrik Ibsen, An Enemy of the People, 1882: "The strongest man in the world is he who stands most alone."

 

 

Once our eyes open to how this works, and if we remain with another who is no good for us, we begin to pervert ourselves. We strengthen the sense of fear, of egocentrism and manipulation that the disingenuous life encourages. We use others as “means” not “ends.” We declare, by our actions, that there is no God to help us, that a life of faith is for suckers, that pure motives are for losers, that the grasping ways of the ego is what really works.

 

 

she hasn't got the faith or the guts to leave him
when they're standing in each other's way…
you know you've been wrong and it won't be long
before you leave 'em all far behind...

 

 

Many people think, or hope, that achieving a fiftieth wedding anniversary is very important. It could be, but struggling on to win that milestone, when you perceive that Life is calling you to be alone, will do you no good. In fact, it will make you worse, it will increase your fears, and sense of helplessness. It will set you back, inject darkness into your spirit, and make you a candidate for a time in the “shadowlands” upon crossing over; for, as Spirit Guide Margaret warns, the number one reason for people, for couples, having to spend time in “dark detention” is due to their using each other for private gain.

See my four books for extensive discussion. Many people are hiding in ill-conceived marriage; hiding from Life, hiding from the "still small voice," but primarily, hiding from themselves.

send a sympathy card to the anniversary couple

I grew up in a farming community in which it was common for marriages to last 50 years or more. By nature we want to rejoice with couples who have earned this distinction; however, many, virtually all, of those couples were miserable together, just as the lady in Panera today: they "didn't have the faith or the guts to leave" and "were standing in each other's way"; and now they want to take a "victory march."

Most of those marriages, if the participants had been honest with themselves, and spiritually clear-eyed enough, should have ended, in favor of the sacred lessons to be learned by living alone.

This is the world wherein we are to experience one-time events. It's different over there. We’re headed for Summerland society where all good things are readily available. There is no suffering over there; not in the “better neighborhoods.” And so this is our one chance to gain a depth of wisdom by enduring loss and sorrow; facing it in the "open sunny air" – that is, when required, when there's nowhere to turn but to endure suffering honorably, when Life signals that it’s our time to participate in such severe classroom as aloneness.

The Gospel Of Thomas: "Jesus said, Blessed are those who are alone and chosen: you will find the Kingdom... Jesus said, Many are standing by the door, but [only] those who are alone will enter the wedding chamber."

 

 

a tree, the only friend, in her loneliness

Dr. Victor Frankl, in his concentration camp memoirs, offers an account of a fellow inmate who was about to die. The following excerpts are from “Man’s Search For Meaning."

It is a simple story, and it may sound as if I had invented it. But to me it seems like a poem. This young woman knew that she would die in the next few days, but when I talked to her she was cheerful in spite of this knowledge.

"I am grateful that fate has hit me so hard,” she told me. "In my former life I was spoiled and did not take spiritual accomplishments seriously."

Pointing through the window of the hut she said, "This tree here is the only friend I have in my loneliness."

Through that window, she could see just one branch of a chestnut tree, and on the branch were two blossoms.

“I often talk to this tree,” she said to me.

I was startled and didn’t know how to take her words. Was she delirious? Did she have occasional hallucinations? Anxiously, I asked her if the tree replied.

“Yes."

What did it say to her?

She answered, "It said to me, I am here, I am here, I am life - eternal life."

 

 

 

 

Editor's last word: