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Word Gems exploring self-realization, sacred personhood, and full humanity
Soulmate, Myself:
Might true love be forever unrequited? Silver Birch was asked about thwarted love in this world - probably, the most common and pressing question for millions. The query went something like this: Let us suppose that X loves Y but, for a variety of reasons, X cannot be with Y. Both of them transition to the next world. X continues to love Y; however, Y neither shares X’s feelings nor responds in kind. In such case, what will happen to X if his love cannot be consummated vis-à-vis Y? Is X doomed to live eternally in a sorrowful condition having lost Y? You will want to read Silver Birch’s statements on this subject in their entirety in his books, but consider a summary-answer below (paraphrased and expanded): No one’s love life will ultimately be thwarted in the next world; that is not possible. On Earth, true love seldom and rarely comes to full-flower, as there are many hindrances and impediments. Some of these roadblocks stem from the immaturity of the parties involved, and some result from unpropitious circumstances, so common on the Earth-plane. But let us speak to the desires of X. So much of what is called “love” on Earth is not worthy of the term. In the vast majority of cases, X will not truly love Y but suffers mere evanescent infatuation fueled by animal spirits, procreative urges, instinctual desire for children, domestic-household concerns, mammalian impulse, intentions to provide for legacy and heirs, property and wealth accumulation, social and peer-group pressure, cultish duty and deference to Church and heritage, fears related to being alone or not being chosen - and other such egocentric issues which lead people into, and require them to stay, within the ranks of what Ann Landers called "the miserably married." None of this is “love” in any meaningful sense, and none of it will endure transition to the “real world.” All of it will yet be cast upon the scrapheap of diminished consciousness - to be eagerly rejected as combinatorial expressions of biology, fear, and egoism. However, if X crosses over in a state of aforementioned deluded mind regarding Y, X will, in due time, discover the vacuity of his position, the non-substantive nature of his so-called "love." When that happens, X will find himself emotionally released from the base psychological chains of ersatz romantic desire. His sense of "love" will be gone, forever. But let us humor our hapless friend X for the moment and grant him the lofty status of true love regarding Y. If this in fact were to be the case, then X’s feelings for Y are permanent, enduring, and will last eternally. But now you will be troubled by the frightening question, if X is thus authentically enamored with Y, what will be the fate of X if Y spurns his true love? You must forgive me (said Silver Birch) as what I am about to say will strike many as controversial – the fact of the matter is, if X’s love is true, then Y will yet discover her own true love for X; it will be impossible for Y not to reciprocate X’s love; Y's coming maturity and better sightedness will exchange non-response and indifference for extreme delight and breathless devotion to X. It is not possible to unilaterally love another in an authentic manner. True love is not driven by fleeting brain-chemical induced fever but exists as a function of enduring, blended soul-energies. This balanced interplay cannot invade one party without the other equally afflicted. Each will yet love the other with corresponding and proportional intensity. In the "kingdom of God," there are no aloof ice-princesses holding at bay starving puppies. It doesn’t work that way. There are no lop-sided love affairs in Summerland. That is not possible. Each represents one-half of a complete "One Person" individuality, with each mirroring the other's essential essence. True love is rooted in the soul, the core of being, not in feckless biology. True love manifests as a permanent state of consciousness, a steady-state delightful way of seeing things, not as transitory procreative delirium. True love is a magical world of enchanted cognition and perception, but only for authentic romantics. True love, to our disbelieving joy, upending the Beatles' song, has no "nasty habit of disappearing overnight." All this acknowledged, it must be stated that, if Y is immature, if Y has not yet acquired sufficient spiritual growth and consciousness, then Y may indeed delay, but cannot ultimately thwart, rapprochement with X; in such case, X will, and must, await Y's awakening to their mutual destiny of sacred romance. And so, if X and Y are Twin Souls, then there will be no “others,” there is no competition - this is not possible. Twins cannot enter into other relationships, excluding a destined mate; well, in times of immaturity, they can and do, at least attempt to, but only to court great personal suffering in this spurning of sacred trust. They are not two but one, and, in most cases, in defiance of this reality, they will suffer their way into better viewpoint. Love is not just chemistry but physics, too - There is no separate Force A and Force B, but only Force A-B. One member of this cosmic pair cannot act without the other sent spinning; stated proverbially, "You cannot touch without being touched." For them, love is not a choice, as such, but a coming to awareness, a wellspring of realization, issuing from the secret depths; again, love is not a choice, but rather, Love has chosen them to be together always. Though confusion will reign for a time concerning this issue of ineluctability, they have no other options in which to find ultimate happiness. It won't work with just any pretty face. But, by the time they are allowed to be together, they will have discovered the painful truth of this woeful principle on their own. True love is not about "voting" or selecting the "best resume" or "interviewing" a list of applicants. But no need to worry about getting it wrong. For Twins, each to the other appears as an ideal; for them, there is no disappointment, no "settling" and making do with "second best." Whatever he or she brings to the other, "coincidently," is exactly what each had always dreamed of and wanted in a mate. This felicitous confluence of desire meeting reality is utterly shocking to both parties. "How could you be, and mean, so much to me? How can I feel so much for you? It's almost embarrassing how much I want you!" Yes, as the old Bobby Vinton song goes, "Forgive me for wanting you so!" This kind of high-degree affinity is precision-engineered and does not happen by accident. As such, it cannot be fostered, engendered, or even encouraged by pious god-talk, by church rituals, ceremonies, or blessings from the bishop. None of that will mean the slightest. Twins are linked at the core of being, and have been since their creation "in the soul nursery." Their resultant bond is unalterable, unbreakable; it either exists or it does not; if existing, it cannot be removed or changed; if absent, it cannot be created or jump-started. You cannot breathe life into a corpse; you cannot "work on" a marriage to save or vivify it. The true marriage will "work on" you, evolve you, develop you, into a full and mature expression of "made in the image." Stated another way, Twins were "born married." They've always enjoyed "union of spirits" (as The Wedding Song employs the phrase), with lack of awareness to the process as the only barrier to commencing their destined extreme delight of companionship. Editor's note: Swedenborg (above), in his visions of Summerland, stated that the enduring relationship of sacred Twins is characterized by a desire to laugh together and to tease each other. For them, marriage is the embodiment of "the joy," and life itself becomes celebration - just being together, just doing all things together, as Darling Companions.
Case in point regarding laughing together: In the late 1960s, as a freshman at university, I happened upon a magazine interview featuring Richard Burton, the British film-star. With man-of-the-world élan, he opined best methods to bed a girl and those he preferred for the task. I still recall the brusque, hubristic manner: he didn’t like a passive girl, a servile girl, and he certainly didn’t want any too-ready-to-please girl – I well remember his brash words -- “doing her ****ing duty” for him in bed. No, none of that, for sure, men have rights, too. 'the height of eroticism' But then, with a measure of new animation, he asserted what he did like. He liked a girl, essentially, who was wild and frolicking in bed, able to offer mad, unconstrained love; he wanted her to provoke and tease him, to both laugh and to make him laugh; because, he had learned, lovers laughing together is the "height of eroticism.” I think Burton was right about this apex. The great afterlife teachers of romance concur.
Funny thing about laughing with a girl, though, you can't just go out and do this with any pretty face. It's not a matter of choice. The harder you try to arrange for this kind of laughter, this "height of eroticism," the more it will flee from you. And it's more than just laughing. When you learn how to "assess the energy" of the laughter of an erotic partner, you’ll discern that some laughter is inwardly directed, merely a private jubilation that excludes you, just another's thrill of knowing pleasure or of "winning." What I mean is, in the real "height of eroticism," laughter will be an expression of true lovers' celebration of just being together, a mutual rejoicing of their common love. I submit that when you find a mate who authentically laughs with you, then, you have found your Twin Soul – laughs with you in a spirit that desires to be totally open, vulnerable; a giving of herself in every way; laughing as celebration, just to share your company, just to be with you. It's not possible for a non-Twin to do this authentically. She may be laughing and "wild," as Burton used the term, but not necessarily "wild" for you as a person; she may be feeling triumphant if she thinks you have much to offer, but the "wildness" and giddy laughter won't be about you, as such; people go “wild” and laugh when they win the lottery, too.
Only your Twin Soul can offer the “sacred wildness”: a cathartic unleashing of inhibitions long restrained and "saved up"; once-tethered desires now set free in a limitless world of new-found true love; a formerly-caged bird suddenly singing its heart out; a gushing inner abandonment now finally in the presence of the long sought-for Beloved, embodying all of one's secret wishes; and, therefore, exhibiting an utter willingness to totally accept, and to rejoice in, you as a person. This is the real "height of eroticism," which, when you experience it, cannot be mistaken for the merely gracious demeanor, albeit well-meaning, of a high social-IQ girl named “Mary” who understands how to please and charm a man. That's not enough, and John knows the difference. Well, I take it back -- true love is like winning the lottery, mega-millions, of course; and the sense of joy and excitement will be more than overwhelming; the difference is that, each for the other is the winning ticket. (See my article on the meaning of humor, avenue to truth.)
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