home | what's new | other sites | contact | about

Word Gems 

exploring self-realization, sacred personhood, and full humanity

Soulmate, Myself:
The Perfect Mate

Jamie and Landon, the novel

return to 'Jamie and Landon' main-page

Kairissi. I think I like the novel better than the movie. I say this because the elevated character of Jamie shines more brightly in the novel. In the movie Jamie becomes peeved with Landon and begins to write him off, but in the novel, Jamie is more longsuffering.

Elenchus. But we’re talking about a fictional character here.

K. We are, but even so I get the strong feeling that the real-life high-mindedness of sister Danielle is shining through Jamie. Here’s what I think. Nicholas is a savvy writer and wouldn’t have dared present Jamie as too “sappy good” if he’d not been “forcibly” inspired to do this by the actual example of his sister.

E. I think you might be right. I have to admit that I too was inspired by Jamie-Danielle. She doesn’t hold a grudge. She’s not easily offended. She doesn't retaliate when others persecute her. She sees the underlying best in people and addresses this better nature.

K. She truly is inspiring.

reprinted from the 'I need some space' writing:

K. But what if he really does desire to be with a girl like Jamie Sullivan?

you got to my soul...

E. He wants her virtue, it’s a treasure to him. It’s the beauty of God shining through her made-in-the-image agency, and, whether he's yet figured this out or not (probably not), he craves this interaction with the divine. Her radiance, her purity of spirit, her unpretentiousness, in all his eternal life, is the closest he will ever come to a face-to-face meeting with God; and he suddenly realizes that he cannot bear to live without her - if required, he'd be willing to make a fool of himself, and endure a lot more, to have her. Moreover, subliminally (he'll get to this realization), he also wants their future family, and even coming generations, to be inspired by his truly good girl. She has totally ruined and ended his devil-may-care days. He's now like the guy in the Neil Diamond song: you got control, you got to me, you got to be mine... used to slip through every girl's hands like water, never was one who could ever tie me down, straight ahead and steady as Gibraltar, 'til you brought me tumblin' to the ground, you got to me, brought me to my knees, never thought I'd say please, girl, you got me, you got to my soul...

K. "You got to my soul" means that she has now embodied all of his higher-level aspirations. This has far more long-term drawing power for a guy than a girl's body.

E. And here's another song, another fellow "brought to his knees."

K. There seems to be a lot of that going around, but only with certain girls. It’s very strange, Elenchus. The male on his knees before the girl he “worships and adores” is not uncommon in songs, movies, and literature. But when the knee is bent, it’s always in service to higher-level aspiration. No one, in the history of the world, has ever heard of a male offering heartfelt obeisance of the knee merely for a girl’s body, but primarily for her soul; and, to satisfy his own soul. Is this not utterly amazing?

I begged her, on my knees...

E. (sighing) I’m not proud of myself to report that I have a weakness with grudges. It’s been said of me, by those who know me well, “Elenchus doesn’t give second chances.” Unfortunately, this has been true in my life.

K. Don’t be too hard on yourself, Elenchus – most people have some work to do in this area. But, you’re right, Jamie’s attribute of “seeing the best in everyone” is very commendable. There’s actually a lot to talk about in the novel, but I think I’d like to focus on something Jamie said.

E. I have something to say, too, but you go first.

K. I’m thinking of the conversation where they talk about what they want to do in life:

“I think you should become a minister,” she said seriously. “I think you’re good with people, and they’d respect what you have to say.”

Though the concept was absolutely ridiculous, with her I just knew it came from the heart, and she intended it as a compliment.

“Thanks,” I said. “I don’t know if I’ll do that, but I’m sure I’ll find something.” It took a moment for me to realize that the conversation had stalled and that it was my turn to ask a question.

“How about you? What do you want to do in the future?”

Jamie turned away and got a far-off gaze in her eyes, making me wonder what she was thinking…

“I want to get married,” she said quietly. “And when I do, I want my father to walk me down the aisle, and I want everyone I know to be there. I want the church bursting with people.”

“That’s all?” Though I wasn’t averse to the idea of marriage, it seemed kind of silly to hope for that as your life’s goal.

“Yes,” she said. “That’s all I want.”

E. I think there'd be not a few who’d agree with Landon about “silly.” I’m reminded of university days, there was this joke about many of the girls, that the only reason they were there was to earn their “MRS” degree.

K. Yes, that’s probably a fairly typical attitude. Marriage, as compared to becoming an engineer, teacher, or scientist, is often seen as something insubstantial. But only by the materialistically minded.

E. Let’s point out, too, that Jamie is no intellectual slouch. She doesn't need the MRS degree to have value as a person. She's a force, top shelf, and, when required, can go toe-to-toe with the best. She’s ranked as “honor society” caliber, on her way to becoming valedictorian of her class. She’s the kind of girl who knows her way around telescopes and the night sky, tech and mathematics, and, just for fun, spends her summers reading the “100 best American novels.”

K. Jamie's competence is awesome. And when a girl like her says that getting married ought to be the number one goal in life, then we should take notice and find out why.

E. I’d like you to spell this out for us, Kriss. But before you offer the details, it will be asked, what would Jamie really know about this? Does she really understand the secret and cosmic significance of marriage when there are millions on the other side who get this wrong?

K. Jamie is not a philosopher, and hasn’t studied the afterlife reports. But she’s like young Emily Bronte, intuitively writing of the passions and intricacies of authentic love, though remaining unmarried and alone to untimely death at age 30. True love is localized in higher levels of consciousness, in the soul, not the body, and might be explored via mystical avenues – but only by those of augmented awareness.

E. And even this much explains the misperceptions of John and Mary.

K. But, allow me to directly address Jamie’s desire for marriage as priority one. In the series of articles devoted to “freedom from illusion,” we came to understand that only those who “emulate Mother-Father God” are blessed with a highest degree of perspicacity. This means that only those who authentically marry, those who enjoy Twin Soul oneness, will know ultimate reality. There are many worthwhile endeavors in life, all sorts of occupations, pursuits, and quests for knowledge - but all of these must be christened as second-best, in favor of the loftiest sanity, the most accurate view of ultimate meaning and purpose, which can be attained only by the “emulation of Mother-Father God,” only by marrying for authentic love. Though Jamie had not been schooled in runic matters, she intuitively understood all this.

E. The cynics might decry the MRS status, but, when eyes start to open, we begin to see that true love and marriage become doorway to a zenith-level of wisdom and truth.

K. Elenchus, much could be offered here, but we’ve already made our case in thousands of pages. But you said you saw something especially important in the novel.

E. Yes… thank you… but I don’t think I can really convey what I saw… it hit me so forcibly.

K. Just relax and allow the words to come.

E. It’s actually related to Jamie’s priority to get married … I’d like to marry a really good and smart girl like Jamie… a girl who just wants to get married… meaning, I want to be with a girl who has no higher agenda in life … than “us.”

K. (silence)

E. There is something incredibly wonderful about being with a girl who just wants you, and needs nothing else. Now, I don’t mean that life would not be filled with all sorts of projects for work, education, service, family, and everything else. I’m not talking about living in a cave on a mountain-top. What I mean is, she will see me as “enough,” that I’m what she really wants in life and needs nothing else to make her feel whole.

K. (softly) Elenchus, in the “perfect mate” writing of nearly 25 years ago we said this:

She, as I, has her own sphere of activities, her own projects. But there is no sense of competition in any of this, as each, unilaterally, surrenders to the other, and relegates to secondary status, all things in life in favor of our One-Person devotion. These offerings of fealty - the other's prized possessions and projects - having been received, are then mutually returned, now, forever subservient and second-class to our common love; a love which ever whispers, you belong to me, I belong to you, and no one or no thing could ever be as important.

K. There's no hint of rivalry between them. They're not using each other to get some other kind of happiness. They don't see each other as stepping-stone to the real prize. They just want each other.

E. Here’s what this means to me on an emotional level. It means that my soul can enter into complete rest and security, knowing that I am cherished in her life as priority number one. I don’t have to worry that she'll need to make her career, or even the children, more important than me. It means that she will not derive her self-worth or identity as a human being from any of her projects in life. And this sense, received from her, that she wants me, just me, and that I am enough for her, that "we" are enough for her, and enough for each other - all this - makes her so incredibly attractive to me, that I feel myself to be shattering with joy.

K. (silence)

reprinted from the 'I need some space' writing:

K. I think you like this girl.

E. She looks like someone I know.

E. She looks like someone I know, but, even so, I don’t recognize her.

K. (silence)

E. I mean, she might score close to 100% with me on an “e-harmony” compatibility quiz. And yet, as I see her here now, I feel a certain “distance” and “emptiness.”

K. There is another girl, as well, whom you see as possessing near-perfect isomorphism to the things you want in a companion. In fact, you’ve said that, if you were to operate merely on the level of human choice, she would have been your first pick.

E. And this girl here, too, is very close to that. She offers every attribute that I highly treasure. All this, and a fine-featured beauty, what I’ve called a “sharp” beauty  – both girls do –  a beauty which is so similar to that of the one whom I do recognize.

K. We spoke of these things in the “recognition” article.

E. Yes, there’s nothing new here, and yet each time I encounter this phenomenon, I am undone. It’s as if I can’t accept this. On the level of logic and reason, this should not be possible. Common sense would say, if a girl has all the right attributes one desires, if her beauty is just what you want, then these look-alikes should be interchangeable.

K. Meaning, there should be “many pretty fish in the sea” to satisfy. If you lose one, five more will soon be coming.

E. But we know that this is not how true love and marriage works.

K. Elenchus… since we’ve discussed these ideas in another writing, what is it exactly that is particularly moving you so deeply right now?

E. I can’t get over it. I think of this girl here, and the “first choice” girl, and I compare them to you. And, at the surface of life, I see little difference.

K. (softly) Maybe there are many pretty fish in the sea.

E. That’s the illusion – and almost every John and Mary believes this. But… it’s not true… Those first two girls are incredibly beautiful, and also have spiritual and mental qualities in abundance… but why is it that I feel that sense of “distance” and “emptiness” with them… but not with you?

Editor's note:

The issue of lingering doubt was addressed in the "certainty" and  "arrabon" articles.

E. I’ve just read the novel about Jamie and Landon. I’m not one to read novels, and haven’t done so in over 50 years since college, but I’ve read this one. Again, the movie doesn’t do justice, it’s a watered down version to appeal to a secular society. And the Jamie of the novel is many powers of ten more inspiring and worthy of note.

K. In what sense?

E. I am deeply moved by her willingness to serve and aid even her enemies. She doesn’t blame people or blame God for the trials in her life. She’s friendly to all, even to those who, she full well knows, despise her and work against her. And here’s what’s really getting me. While she’s only a fictional character, I find myself taking the high road, with more charitable intent, than I normally do – and why? because I bring to mind her example of selfless service. She’s actually changing me, affecting me on a deep level, from the inside out – and she’s just a character in a novel!

K. But it seems she’s more than just a character in a novel.

E. I think that’s true. Jamie, to my way of thinking, is actually an embodiment of a feminine ideal. A woman like this, of such grace, forbearance, altruism, maturity, intelligence, virtue – I could go on – possesses great spiritual power. In a woman like this, the old adage of a man’s desire to “worship and adore” the one he loves takes high flight and soars to the heavens. Men are changed, transformed, it is a kind of sacrament, simply to be in her presence – Landon said this many times; and others, too.

K. It seems it’s not difficult to “worship and adore” a goddess who heals her lover’s “heart of darkness.”

E. And it’s for this reason that I would offer counsel, to myself, and to all men: when you’re considering being with a woman, great beauty is not enough; competence, talent, and ability are not enough; even trustworthiness, as vital as it is, is not enough, without something more. And I could list a few other facets of the diamond of love, each important in its own right, and we need all of them for the eternal marriage, but – the “godliness” factor exhibited by Jamie, is absolutely non-negotiable; actually, all of the factors of love are non-negotiable, as the absence of any one of them will derail the eternal marriage. However, acknowledging all this, the “godliness” factor clamors for special attention.

K. And why is that?

E. Her “godliness” attribute draws from me, from my stone-cold “heart of darkness,” a breath of life previously unknown to me. Like a flower, as songwriter John Sebastian had it, “I feel myself in bloom” in her presence. She “draws life” from me, as “The Wedding Song” puts it. I can feel myself expanding to new, higher levels of what I was made to be. It’s as if she pulls me out of mental darkness, the dungeons of my personal hell, lights the path, shows me the way toward the secret meaning of God’s love. I sense, I know, that I cannot reach my potential as a son of God unless this made-in-the-image agent of the divine leads me forward.

K. (silence)

E. All this, I think, is the most important. But, following closely concerning this “godliness” attribute, she is not only a willing partner with me to enter “the harvest fields of God,” but encourages me to do so, points out that this is our life’s priority. She, proactively, with creative force, devises plans to help the wayward find the God-life within. I do not need to coax her into this work, but, if anyone is doing any coaxing, she is leading me in this “harvest” effort. Little wonder, then, I stand mesmerized, and gush, with the mythic Adam, at the first sight of Eve -- "Eve" means "life" -- to exclaim, “you are my life.”

K. (softly) What is the bottom line of all this for you?

E. I cannot be with any woman who does not exhibit the godly feminine attributes of Jamie. It wouldn't work, we wouldn't be ready, we wouldn't be happy. I would far rather remain unmarried, or wait hundreds of years, than to be with someone immature in these spiritual areas.

addendum: the eternal love and marriage, its meaning and purpose

a heaven in a gaze,
a heaven of heavens,
the privilege
of one another’s eyes

Emily Dickinson

As I survey the many afterlife testimonies, from many sources, collected over nearly thirty years – see many of them here -- a sense of hushed awe envelops my spirit. How could this be possible? part of me questions.

Think back to childhood, that very first time the concept of “forever” pierced the fog of the puerile mind. I see myself back then, almost-hypnotically stammering: “forever… and ever… and ever… and ever… and ever…”

Falling into the bottomless abyss of “forever” is a frightening existential event. But then, later, made all the worse by a contemplation of being with just one person, in an eternal marriage, one that “cannot be sundered” – forever… and ever… and ever… and ever…

What are we to make of this endless perpetuity? From our experience on the Earth, nothing lasts forever; most especially, good things. They cloy, go sour, or depart from us, rather quickly. Who ever heard of feeling really, really happy about something lasting more than a short while or, at best, a fortnight? It doesn’t happen.

But, in the testimonies, we find this chorus of fervent voices exclaiming otherwise. They say, forget about your old prejudices, when you find the real thing, that’s when the real heaven begins. Before then, you’re just splashing in the kiddie-pool of what you think is pleasure.

Why would the universe be arranged this way? We’ll be investigating this for a long time, but part of the answer, they say, is that we can’t reach our best maturity and development without the true love and marriage; the implication being, until then, we have not yet perceived our authentic “what we stay alive for.” They’re telling us that we wouldn’t even bother unfolding much of the soul’s godly potential unless this blossoming were linked to being with and enjoying the company of one’s darling companion.

Now, most of us, when we hear things like this, might offer a jaded and cynical response, like: “I know all about this, I fell in love once, thought it would last forever, felt like it would, for a very short time, but it all faded so quickly. So I’ve been there, done that, got the t-shirt and dvd, and now I’m good, mate, but you have a nice day.”

The Spirit Guides are well aware of this “tough room” reaction – the entire channeled message of “The Wedding Song” addresses this derisive and scornful reply. They say our viewpoint is ignorant, and of course things didn’t work out because we approached love as any beast of the field might do, merely an expression of mammalian zeal of the organs – and how long does that last? The really good stuff, they say, represents God’s own eternal energies, the kind that made us male and female, the “image of God.” They say that “the real love” – which comes to us only once in our eternal life, and with only one particular lover – “is so magnetic, so overwhelming in its attraction,” that the ensuing devastation, to our false views is so complete and shattering, that we are never the same, ever again, after this cosmic encounter. And we will spend the rest of our lives trying to figure out what happened – how one pleasant-looking person could have done all that to us; and continues to do so.

With all of this acclaim and fanfare, we might expect everyone in Summerland to be paired off as Twin Soul couples. And yet, strangely, on the “lower levels” of Summerland, almost no one has even heard of this. Most are still languishing in their lackluster John-and-Mary unions of the Earth. But then, most in Summerland are spiritually dysfunctional and still quite immature. We discussed this in “the 500 tape-recorded messages from the other side” writing.

We should not expect it to be easy to fall into the eternal marriage. Let’s not forget that frightening aspect of “forever… and ever… and ever… and ever.” The eternal marriage is not like asking a girl out for Saturday night. The eternal love and marriage is a union reflecting a mature and godlike frame of mind. We can’t expect to achieve this by reading a book or attending a seminar. A considerable amount of spiritual practice will be required, and not a short time inhabiting “the long dark night of the soul.”

Eroticism in the eternal love and marriage is not founded upon blood and fever. This does not last, and is fairly weak, in any case. But there is a more potent level of eroticism, based upon a higher level of consciousness or “soul energies,” and this form of eros does not fade. However, to experience this, the small ego cannot rule one’s being.

The Twin Soul marriage is typically entered when loftier levels of consciousness are reached. And now we want to know, how long might it take to achieve the requisite maturity allowing two to enter the eternal marriage?

There’s no easy answer to this. It could be a fairly short time. If a couple catches a glimpse of the joys awaiting them, they might buckle down into a program of spiritual self-development that could make wedding bells ring for them in only many months or a few short years.

However, my sense is that not many will be this lucky. What is the problem? The problem is, when we cross over we bring with us all of our ego-illusions. And many love to cling to these. They’re afraid of change, afraid to let go of the old cultish ways of the Earth, afraid to “go within” to mine the inner riches – afraid, because they fear they’ll discover they’re a bad person on the deep inside.

There can never be a commencement of the eternal marriage while the ego pulls the strings in one’s life. And this is why marriages, so often, are so miserable on the Earth. And none of this mental dystopia, I think we can see, could have any place in a marriage lasting “forever… and ever… and ever.”

Recall, too, as we’ve discussed elsewhere, couples are usually out-of-phase with each other. One might be fairly mature, but the other lags behind in egoic insanity. What can be done? Not much. Each person has his or her own timetable for spiritual awakening, and the soul will not rushed into a better state.

This means that the “sane” member of the Twinship will have to wait. There is no one else for him or her. Jesus talked about this waiting in the Matthew 19 discourse.

How long might this waiting last? I’d like to say that maybe it would only be many years, but this is a hopeful spin on the problem. As we read the Guides' testimonies, we learn that, in hard-core situations, the immaturity of the recalcitrant absent Twin might last hundreds of years, or even a great deal longer. It could get grim. During the interim, the mature partner must settle in for the long wait, involving him- or herself in charitable works, study, staying close to friends, but, in all of this, must live alone.

One ray of hope: Just because a Twin couple, upon arrival in Summerland, is not ready for the eternal marriage doesn’t mean that they can’t share many activities. This sort of limited togetherness, of course, assumes that each enjoys a modicum of spirituality, but, if not, it’s best to wait, as they’d grate like sandpaper, each to the other. But assuming a minimum level of maturity, they might take part in many activities jointly: service projects, university studies, outings, parties, and travel. We would welcome this because, as stated earlier, these interactions might offer a glimpse of the joys of union awaiting them. Even a small vision of future happiness could serve as motivation to wholeheartedly pursue a program of marital spiritual readiness. This half-way measure could be ideal for them, and we hope for it.

Much of this is not easy, and no sugar-coating will mollify. All we can say is, the future is a long time, and a very long time, and we absolutely need the true mate to “survive the terror of living forever”. One is required to wait -- and accept no interim substitutes, which would only add to miseries; and hurt feelings, which might further delay the wedding date by decades -- because the potential happiness, at the end, is so over-the-top substantial, that it outweighs any suffering as investment to that end.

It is the exclusive right, the privilege, as Emily said, of one another’s eyes, a heaven in a gaze; indeed, a heaven of heavens, and this, on a permanent basis.