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Word Gems

self-knowledge, authentic living, full humanity, continual awakening

Authentic Love and Marriage

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This concept of sacred romantic exclusivity was discussed by Jesus.

Few know about this as it’s buried under the rubble of impenetrable archaic metaphor, the “eunuch for the kingdom’s sake.” See the full Matthew 19 discussion HERE.

John and Mary have degraded what Spirit Guide Margaret called the holiest of all human endeavors. Our spirits, she said, cannot evolve without this erotic soul-to-soul affinity. See the complete discourse HERE.

But consider carefully the above song lyrics. I find them astonishingly insightful, utterly commensurate to ultimate reality.

let me be lonely, I intend to be independently blue

Yes, if the one you love is not available, or out of phase with you, currently confused concerning the dispositive underlying soul energies, then, as Jesus instructed, commit yourself to being “independently blue.” You must wait.

During the interim, maintain your dignity and self-respect. Do not prostitute yourself for some dubious “happiness” with another, some sell-out to "the white picket fence".

You must wait, and use your unwanted down time as prep time. Embrace your loneliness as something positive. Perceive the sense of cleanness and self-mastery, a resolve to effect one's will, the feeling of uprightness and righteousness, of consecrating oneself to inevitable union with the sacred beloved.

Wait, for virtually no one gets what they want here on the sorrowful planet. We didn't come here for the "health and wealth gospel." Commit yourself to waiting for receipt of blessing at the pleasure of God's timetable.

If we defy this mandate, this basic requirement for successful negotiation of our time in this world, we will increase our sufferings by powers of ten.

you might find the night time the right time for kissing, but night time is my time for reminiscing, regretting, instead of forgetting, with somebody else

At first I wondered what the songwriter was getting at here. But then it became clear.

It’s only natural for us to prefer the “night time for kissing.” But it has to be at the right time, and with the right person, or we’re really gonna muck it up.

Far better, according to the demands and exigencies of the moment, to reserve our night time for “reminiscing” or “regretting.” In other words, night time is a great time to meditate, to evaluate one’s life, where we went wrong, and, for some of us, why we might have lost the love of one’s life. It’s not pleasant work, and not meant to be, but can be very spiritually instructive.

However, if the ego is running one’s life, the night time will be wasted on “forgetting,” that is, repressing, not only what happened, but repressing our own selves, our true selves, all of which will serve only to delay our future joy even more. Still worse, is when we do our “forgetting” with an unauthorized bedmate. Now there’ll be even more chaos to sort out.

Postscript

Diana Ross sings the refrain for the above song: “you can’t hurry love, you just have to wait.” But we don’t want to wait, and so we attempt quick short-cuts -- and then repent, in dust and ashes, at our leisure.

But, at the end, some of us finally learn, after interminable suffering, that we just have to wait, because true love can’t be hurried.

Footnote: Many times in recent writings I’ve referenced the words, “the soft voice that comes at night.” This is what we die for. But I had forgotten the origin of this mesmerizing phrase, it’s from Diana’s song.

If you really love someone, but can't get close right now, sure, there's always Summerland coming up fast where things are made right, but forget about that for a moment - would you be willing to be with her if she becomes free at age 80 or 88? In this world of sorrow, even such eleventh hour, or maybe two minutes before midnight, interaction might be denied, but it's something to think about during one of those “reminiscing” or “regretting” late-night sessions. A brief time-out from "independently blue" could be possible right near the end.

When I was a young man, I still recall visiting an ancient and frail couple - well into their 80s, maybe 90. They’d been married only a very short time. He explained how he’d made contact after her mate died. I don’t think I’ve ever known any two as excited about being in love. He was just ecstatic to be with her, couldn’t stop gushing; and, for her, being "worshipped and adored" became deep satisfaction. People would kill for this kind of mutual admiration society. They were like little children on Christmas morning. No need to ask them if it was worth the long delay. And the question becomes, would you settle, even if you had to wait many decades, for this “going into overtime” way of accessing your lost love, if only for a few months or a year? - or might it be true, even to redeem a moment together, would unleash unknown dimensions of joy?

09.25.25, 10.05.25