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Word Gems 

exploring self-realization, sacred personhood, and full humanity

 

how to effectively interact with
virtually any personality type

 

 

 

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I’ve sometimes speculated concerning the kind of work I’d like to have in Summerland, with the area of counseling as a possibility.

However, this has led me to question, “As there are so many levels of consciousness and personality types, how could I become competent and able enough to address a very wide field of human condition?”

When the ego surveys a large project as this, its underlying approach will tend to be:

(1) “It’s all on me. If I’m to do this, I’ll have to be the smartest person in the room, better, sharper than others.” It may then judge itself as equal to the task: “I’ve paid my dues, worked hard, studied, I’ve gathered knowledge, and so, yes, I have built my competence and I really am ready to take on this leadership role”; or,

(2) The ego may shrink at the daunting prospect: “This is too much for me. I can’t deal with all this. Maybe in a hundred or a thousand years I’ll have gained enough ability to think about a project like this, but, for right now, I’m not enough.”

While education and experience are necessary and will always benefit a counselor, or anyone who deals with a great variety of people, it is unlikely that we could ever gain enough knowledge to surpass everyone we might be called upon to serve.

But I have come to see that this entire premise is faulty. Effectively dealing with a multitude of personality types will require more than much education or experience.

Editor’s note: This reminds me of something General Eisenhower said about planning during war: “Planning is vital, but planning is almost useless.” And so it is with effective counseling: Education and experience are vital, but education and experience are almost useless.

The effective and competent counselor, one who “points the way”, must not rely, exclusively, on his or her own abilities. Instead, one must offer to others what is received directly from Source.

There is a principle in the New Testament which speaks to this hidden reliance: When called upon to give an answer concerning “the truth,” there is no need to plan ahead of time. One will be given the words to say at the prime teaching moment.

Does it really work this way? I will affirm that it does. It works perfectly. But only if we’ve established a conscious link with Source. Much could be said here, but it’s already been said on a thousand WG pages.

However, when dealing with virtually any consciousness level or personality type, I see three guiding principles for a counselor, one who “points the way.”

(1) One octave, one decibel, lower: What is the energy level of the recipient? Effusive or retiring? As a general rule, the counselor should adjust his or her own level of energy to be one notch lower, one octave, one decibel, south of the client’s disposition. This toning down of oneself helps to remove any perception of attempting to dominate or coerce.

(2) Isaiah listening: Allow me to quote from the "creativity" writing:

John Curtis Gowan, in “The Journal Of Creative Behavior,” draws our attention to the fact that:

"When Michelangelo did the Sistine Chapel, he painted both the major and minor prophets. They can be told apart because, though there are cherubim at the ears of all, only the major prophets are listening. Here, exactly stated, is the difference between genius and talent."

Isaiah listening

Listening becomes not only the difference between genius and talent but effective counseling and the ego posturing as concerned advisor.

Ordinary listening, so often, is merely the ego looking for opportunity to advance itself at the expense of others. It’s quiet while another speaks only to formulate its own designs of self-enhancement.

But the metaphor of “Isaiah listening” denotes something altogether different. It is the kind of listening that, from the onset, does not inject itself and presumes no mental framework of what the answer ought to be.

(3) A conduit for higher wisdom: All of the above suggests that it’s not about us. No matter how much we’ve studied or think we know, we will never be smart enough to offer precisely what the other party needs to hear.

This is not possible. The effective counseling situation will allow Source to provide a private tutoring to a recipient via the conduit of a counselor properly linked to Source.

What I’ve said here is the most brief and meager outline of a vast and profound mystical process which could be explicated endlessly in a great many volumes. But, none of that academia matters, as the counselor, him or herself, will also be instructed, precisely and personally, concerning just how to approach any willing heart.

Editor’s note: The missionary Spirit Guides working in the Dark Realms are very mindful of what is said here. They do not speak, or very much, until the suffering one is ready to receive. No one can be led to a higher level of consciousness without that person's permission. And the Guides are well aware of this systemic limitation, and that they, personally, have no ability, at all, to help anyone -- without the whispering influence of Source.

Editor’s note: Dealing with others, as we know, can often test us as nothing else. If one attempts to impart even the smallest item of truth, very often one will be shunned, marginalized, vilified, or worse. In these situations, we naturally want to defend ourselves.

But Spirit Guide Abu, in a tape-recorded lecture, offered some of the best advice: No teacher can be substantially effective unless the student desires to become like the teacher; that is, unless the teacher is revered and loved by the student.

We need to keep this in mind. Positive affirmation for even the smallest references to the truth will likely not be forthcoming in this world. But, transition to the next tends to change one’s point of view. We need to take the long perspective. Some - probably, eventually all - will appreciate any reasonable and humble effort we make to reach the recalcitrant mind.

If we want to be effective teachers, then we must act in an honorable manner so as to invite the affection of the student – even if tangible fruit of our effort is many years in the future. This waiting is what God does all the time. And if one presumes to be a teaching agent of divinity, then this will not be possible without the virtue of long patience. I write this here as stern reminder to myself - a lesson so easily lost - but you can receive it too, if you like.

 

 

Editor's last word:

The following is from “Life In The World Unseen.” Father Benson had been in the new world only a couple of hours, and now he surveys the books in a replica of his old study:

One book [written on religion] in particular seemed to stand out in
my mind more than the others, and I came to the full realization that I
now wished that I had never written it. It was a distorted narrative,
where the facts, as I had really known them, were given unfair treatment,
and where the truth was suppressed. I felt very remorseful, and for the
first time since coming into this land I had regret. Not regret that I had,
at last, arrived in the spirit world, but sorrow that, with the truth before
me, I had deliberately cast it aside to place in its stead falsehood and
misrepresentation. For I knew that so long as my name lived, that is, so
long as it had any commercial value, that book would continue to be
reproduced and circulated and read—and regarded as the absolute truth.
I had the unpleasant knowledge that I could never destroy what I had
thus done.

There was, at no time, any sense of condemnation over this. On the
contrary, I could feel a distinct atmosphere of intense sympathy. Whence
it came, I knew not, but it was real and concrete nevertheless. I turned to
my friend [Edwin], who, during my inspection and discovery, had been standing discreetly and understandingly at little distance apart, and I asked for his help. It was instantly forthcoming. He then explained to me that he knew exactly what had lain before me concerning this book, but that he was debarred from making any reference to it before I made the discovery for myself. Upon my doing so, and upon my subsequent appeal for help, he was at once enabled to come to my aid.

We take note that Edwin, an experienced Guide, makes no move to “help” -- which would have been meddling -- until his charge is ready to receive. In this small example, we witness the essence of how the Guides operate concerning large and small matters of aiding others.