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exploring self-realization, sacred personhood, and full humanity

Soulmate, Myself:
Omega Point

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Elenchus. I don’t like talking about myself, especially things that happened a long time ago. I’m a private person, and I prefer to keep my history and thoughts to myself. Yes, I know, this is one of those “ludicrous propositions" coming from one who's burdened the world, on these hundreds of pages, with his views.

Kairissi. I can tell you are troubled about something, Elenchus.

E. Sometimes, I’m half-way sane, but then an image from my misspent youth invades my head, especially, those concerning you; and then, in my mind, I’m dragged before a severe judgment seat.

K. (silence)

E. I feel compelled to put forward an experience I had as an older teen. It will help make something clear to you. As I say, I’d rather not talk about it, but, at this stage of life, I’m more interested in what’s right and honest than protecting my ego from embarrassment.

K. (silence)

E. The story I’m about to relate is partly factual, what actually happened, and partly “vision,” what ought to have happened. Picture me now, I’m 18 years old and soon going off to university. It’s a warm summer evening with a big harvest moon, and everything is illuminated by its soft-white radiance.

K. I understand; and, of course, moonlight is famous for encouraging romantic feelings.

E. And I can see myself at a social event. There’s a girl there, slightly older – known to you -- quite attractive, smart and talented.

K. One of those “perfect girls.”

E. She was a girl I'd been aware of in high school, but had never approached. However, that evening, an aligning of the stars as fortuitous event, we had opportunity to talk and be together. And we walked for a while, and I asked her if she wanted to drive somewhere to be alone. She was not unwilling.

K. (silence)

E. And now we’re in a parked car, a secluded place, alone together. And I can still see myself there with her. And I recall thinking, not exactly these words but something to the effect, “You’d sometimes thought about being with this girl, and now here you are. It’s what you wanted.”

K. (silence)

E. And so, with these thoughts in my head, I decided to kiss her; and, again, she was not unwilling. But then something unexpected happened. As I kissed her, thoughts, to this effect, began to trouble me: “This is a girl, for a long time, you wanted to kiss. But… this kiss…is making you feel so empty inside. Why are you not enjoying kissing her?”

K. (softly) And what happened next?

E. I was feeling confused. I decided to kiss her again. My reasoning, I think, was, “There’s something wrong here. I should be enjoying this more. If I kiss her again, maybe it’ll be better.” But I didn’t feel better. In fact, I began to feel worse. With the second kiss, not only did my sense of emptiness grow stronger, but a certain perception fell upon me: “You shouldn’t be here with her. This is all wrong. She doesn’t belong to you. You don't really love this girl, the attraction is just physical.”

K. (softly) And what did you do then?

internal radar

E. And now I was feeling more disoriented. Nothing seemed right. I knew I had to leave and take her home. And that’s what I did. It happened somewhat abruptly, the “interview” ended all of a sudden. I’m sure I hurt her feelings, I’m sure she wondered what she'd done wrong. But she didn’t do anything wrong. It was just my “internal radar” flashing a warning signal. I wish I'd given her an explanation, but I didn't know what to say. We weren’t in the parked car very long. Looking back at it now, it’s a regret I have. I should have handled this in a way that protected her feelings. But I was too immature at 18 to negotiate this skillfully. I took her home, without saying much, and I didn’t see her again after that.

K. Girls often wonder, why was there no follow-up phone call, what did I do wrong?

E. To this day, I feel bad about it. But teen boys are not famous for their wisdom. If I had the chance to see her today, I would apologize.

K. (sighing) Elenchus, is there a special reason you wanted me to know about this?

E. Let me sort this out. What I just told you was the factual portion. And the second part, as I've come to see in my old age, is what “ought” to have happened. I use the term “ought” advisedly as what we suffer in this world serves a larger purpose and is often part of our necessary instruction. But, if I knew then what I know now, rather, if that 18 year-old boy could have seen through the eyes of a white-haired old man, that summer moonlit evening would have ended differently.

K. What are you seeing, Elenchus?

E. Today I was listening to Bap Kennedy’s “Moonlight Kiss,” and I found myself transported, you might say, to that ancient event with the girl. Actually, for some years now, every time I'd hear the song “Moonlight Kiss” I'd think of what happened so many decades ago; but these are not happy thoughts.

"Moonlight Kiss" was featured in the movie “Serendipity” 

E. I want to paint a picture now, the second part of what I call a “vision”; it will also serve as backdrop to a larger question for us to discuss. We are familiar with the “many fish in the sea” philosophy of John and Mary, the concept that any two willing partners can make a love relationship. And it's true, if the chemistry is cooking, feelings can be very intense; for a while. But, as is generally known, the fireworks don’t tend to last.

K. And anyone over the age of 16 knows what this means.

E. Even so, while it lasts, passion can be so potent that most people believe that there couldn’t possibly be anything more consuming or fervent to experience. And so when we talk about Twin Soul love and say that it’s “miles higher” than anything John and Mary ever knew, it’s a hard sell. Who can believe it?

K. Only those who’ve experienced it.

E. And that’s the real answer, but I’d like to try to explain something of what the feelings are like in authentic romance. I’ll come back to this but allow me to finish my “vision.”

K. Where does the factual part end and the “ought to have been” part begin?

E. During the second ill-fated kiss, if I’d had just a little more awareness, a little more maturity, I would have realized some things. I would have interpreted the “emptiness” in my spirit as catalyst to an awakening of who you are in my life.

K. At that time I was still a cloaked element for you.

E. Yes, but in my “enhanced” version of the “second kiss,” I would find myself jarred into an epiphany concerning you.

K. Elenchus, in a way this is not so uncommon. What I mean is, if someone is with the wrong person, it’s possible to be engaged in furious physical intimacy, but, all the while, thinking of someone else. What a terrible situation to be in! – to be embraced by another but secretly yearning for a “missing someone.”

E. This is the tragedy of choosing a mate simply on the basis of pleasant outward features. And in my “vision” I was given a glimpse of just this sort of mismatched dynamic.

K. In the vision, you awakened to me while you were kissing her. That’s an awkward posture.

E. But, here’s what happened next in my vision. More than realizing that I needed to take her home, I also suddenly felt that I just had to go to your house, that same night, and to speak with you! I just couldn’t be away from you one more minute!

K. (softly laughing) In the future, try to schedule your “aha moments” at a civilized hour.

E. I’ll keep that in mind the next time I perceive the identity of my Twin Soul.

K. (small smile)

E. But, you’re right, it was getting very late, and I started to mentally review the logistics of how to make all this happen.

K. Before you turned into a pumpkin.

E. Jack-o-lantern, more likely. But first I had to free myself from the “parked car” situation, and as soon as possible. After driving her home, it was already 12:15! And now I’m debating, “Do I really dare knocking on her door, waking up the whole house, at this hour? What will her father say?!”

K. (small smile) You only had years and years to come to me, and now you have to pound on my door after midnight.

E. I know, it’s unforgiveable – but, it’s like Bap Kennedy’s song, “I can feel my heart, and it’s fit to burst!” And so, I bite the bullet and drive to your house, even though it was now after 12:30.

K. (smiling) And what will you say when you have to meet my suspicious father at the door, having roused the household?

E. What kind of lunatic would do something like this?

K. (softly laughing) Probably one who'd just realized who his Twin is.

E. And so now I’m hoping that first impressions aren’t that important to him.

K. (laughing) Oh, I’m sure he'll hardly notice. So, what happens next?

E. With great trepidation, I’m now knocking on your door. Lights begin to pop on, and there’s muted discourse, some confusion, in the background. And finally your father, in bathrobe, comes to the door. I’m glad he knows me, but he’s wondering if there’s some sort of emergency to justify a visit at nearly 1 AM.

K. (laughing) Just tell him there is an emergency - your “heart is fit to burst.”

E. Uh-huh. And I’m struggling to find the words to salvage some modicum of respectability for myself.

K. (laughing) Does he buy it?

E. Not really.

K. (laughing)

E. And so I give him my prepared speech: “Sir, I must apologize for this intrusion, please forgive me for the late hour, but – may I speak with Kairissi?” And then he says, “Do you know what time it is, young man?”

K. (laughing) He’s wondering if you’ve been drinking.

E. That would have been easier to explain.

K. (laughing)

E. And then I say, “Sir, yes, I know it’s very late, and I know it’s a great inconvenience for you, and a discourtesy on my part, but could I please speak with your daughter?” And then he says, sighing, “I’m sure something can be arranged, but couldn’t this wait until tomorrow afternoon?”

K. (laughing)

E. And then I say, “I understand your concern, sir, but there’s something I really need to talk to her about.” He sighs again, and relents, “Wait here, I’ll see.”

K. (laughing) And why would I want to talk to someone who pounds on my door at 1 AM?

E. Granted, that’s a problem, too, but I persevere, and nervously wait for your debut. And, after more lights shattering the darkness in the house, more muted discussion gathering as a storm…

K. (laughing)

in a state

E. … finally, you arrive on the porch. Now, you’re sort of cool and calm, but you notice that I'm, as the British say, “in a state.” Perceiving my awkwardness, you graciously, in near-whisper, simply speak my name, “Elenchus.”

K. (sighing)

E. I have known you for years, but I don’t know what to say to you. It's like I'm meeting you for the first time. And I stand there, somewhat frozen, in body and mind, as I suffer overwhelming feelings in your presence.

K. And I would have said to you, helping you to regain yourself: “Is there something you’d like to say to me, Elenchus?”

E. “Yes… there is something…” – and you’re waiting for me to explain, but it’s hard for me to speak, I can hardly breathe.

K. After several seconds, rescuing you, I would interject: “Would you like to walk a bit? There’s a lovely harvest moon out tonight.”

E. I nod assent, and follow you out the door from the covered porch. In front of your house there’s a grassy expanse, a perfect place to walk in the moonlight. Walking is exactly what I need to revive myself, and I’m starting to feel the life-blood again.

K. In studious fashion, I nonchalantly comment on the world’s late-night lunar illumination: “Everything is so beautiful in the mellow moonlight.”

E. I perceive myself subliminally grateful that you have not asked me any questions concerning the untimeliness of my visit. I'm embarrassed enough. And through the fog of my delirium, I begin to realize that you are helping me find my tongue and recapture some sense of normalcy. This perception of your high social IQ only elevates my respect for you even more. Finally, then, I begin to speak on point, and commence to explain myself; that, even this evening, I’d come to an appreciation of you as a person and am wondering if you would be willing for us to get to know each other, in a purposeful way.

K. And how long do we walk together that evening?

E. I think it was about an hour. It was, of course, already very late, and I did not want to unduly presume, more than I already had, upon the patience of your father. And so, after we had touched upon many subjects, I escorted you back to your house, but not before securing your permission to see you again, for another walk and talk. We agreed to meet the following day – in “the afternoon,” I joked, referencing your father’s good sense. This made you laugh.

K. (softly laughing)

E. But before we reached your house, as we could see one or two of your awakened younger siblings monitoring us from the windows, you decided to tease me.

K. Not me.

E. You said, “You know, buddy, if you and I decide to make a deal and become very good friends, what you did tonight will be immortalized in jokes and funny stories at family get-togethers for the next 50 years.” And then I say, smiling, “I would be willing to endure a lot more than that in order to be with you.”

K. (smiling) And then I'd say, “You’re just so hard to argue with.” So, Elenchus, is that the end of your “vision”?

E. In a sense, yes, however, there is an extended version…

K. The “director’s cut” edition.

E. ... and in that unabridged format, you and I meet very regularly to discuss what we want in a relationship, from love, and from life. And in the course of this dialogue, we quickly realize that we want to be together; in fact, right away, and can’t imagine being apart any longer. And so we marry before the end of the summer and attend college in the fall as married students. We decide that we want to become teachers, and begin to prepare ourselves, not only to have a family later on, but to eventually work together in the same school.

K. Oh, Elenchus, I’m feeling really bad now as I glimpse what might have been.

E. If I may suggest, let’s address this sense of loss in a while, but, right now, I’d like to re-direct our attention to the main purpose of this Omega Point chapter: Our task is to explain how the feelings and perceptions associated with authentic Twin love and marriage differ from those of the typical couple in the world.

K. May I share an observation?

E. Please.

K. The song “Moonlight Kiss” makes me think of something. It’s noteworthy that you decided to kiss the other girl in the parked car, but when we were walking together later, we didn’t kiss. It was the same big moon up there, but with different results.

E. I’d like you to explain what you see in this.

K. In one of our articles, we quoted a Roman philosopher who essentially said, love gets in the way of sex. And, I think, when we were walking there was a kind of “mystical aura” we were experiencing. What I mean is, we quickly perceived that what we had together was so wonderful, so momentous, so germane to destiny, that simple expressions of bio-attraction took second place. And I want to say, as well, it’s not that we weren’t interested in sex, far from it – but, the “mystical aura” of our true love we found to be so compelling, so mesmerizing, that just being together, just walking and talking together,  just experiencing a meeting-of-the-minds, felt over-the-top to us, was so much to us, that, at that moment, we couldn’t process any more togetherness. And that’s why we weren't driven to kiss that night. Just sharing the moment was so dazzling for us that, strange to say, we didn't even think of kissing.

E. Ok, this is a really important point you bring up, and I’d like to comment on it; but, before I do, I’ll play devil’s advocate for John and Mary. They will read what you’ve said here, and say:

“There’s nothing so special about this. When we first began dating, everything seemed wonderful, so "dancing on clouds and lighter than air." We felt on top of the world, we found it easy to talk, and we’d carry on, sometimes, for hours. Well, those superlative feelings didn’t last that long, but in the beginning it was out of sight.”

K. We understand this position very well. We get it because we’ve been on both sides of this, and there was a time when we might have agreed with John and Mary. But we also know, from personal experience, that what they say does not reflect ultimate reality.

E. What we present here will not convince anyone who’s not experienced the real love. Even so, we’re going to try to talk about the difference.

K. How shall we approach this, Elenchus? Evaluating feelings is a very subjective thing and each couple might think that what they have or had was the outer limit. And so, we'll need to go deeper to get at the underlying basis of this.

'zeal of the organs' - comfort and thrill

E. In many of our discussions we've categorized John-and-Mary love as emphasizing comfort and thrill.

K. And let's quickly add that there's nothing wrong with comfort and thrill, and Twins seek for this too, but, for them, there's something else.

E. Dr. Joseph Campbell had a striking phrase to summarize love-relationships of the world. He said they represent a "zeal of the organs."

K. That's quite descriptive. In other words, what John and Mary have is centered in the body. We have animal cravings, all mammals do. And, especially in an unenlightened state, these lead us forward - a more earthy phrase would be, "we follow our bellies," our basic appetites.

E. John and Mary will not appreciate having their affections labeled as "mammalian," just following an instinctual "html programming". But, if we go deeper, as the Nobel-Prize winning animal-behaviorist researchers, such as Nike Tinbergen, have done, we find that what John and Mary experience, in principle, is not so different from that of any "beast of the field." See the details on the "love" page.

K. So, Elenchus, what are we really saying here? Twins also have these mammalian instincts, they also know the “zeal of the organs,” and so why are they not similarly motivated?

E. Well, they are, of course – but only to a point. Twins also experience something else which radically alters the entire process. It changes everything.

K. We’ve said that John-and-Mary love is localized in the body, but Twin love does not issue from the body. Twin love is centered in the soul. But now we’ll have to explain what this means.

E. We might mention that “The Wedding Song” speaks of authentic marriage as a union, not primarily of bodies but, of two human spirits.

K. And that takes us closer to what we want to say.

E. In the above discussion, we used the phrase, “mystical aura,” and we should expand on that.

K. When you were with the girl in the parked car, did you experience the “mystical aura”?

E. Not an atom of it.

K. And that’s curious, wouldn’t you say? – she’s an attractive girl, and a great girl, why wouldn’t you want her?

E. Well, that was my surprised, subliminal question in the car. I’ll just say that a perception fell upon me, “She does not belong to you.”

K. And how would you know that? Was God speaking to you?

E. It depends what you mean by “God.” Certainly, there was no “instant message” from a “sky-god in a long white beard on a marble throne” somewhere. But, let’s recall that our “true self,” our consciousness, our “soul,” if you will, is linked to God, to Universal Consciousness.

K. And this deeper part of you started sending red-flag warnings?

the divine abstraction

E. There’s a section in “A Course In Miracles” which speaks of the “Divine Abstraction.” It means that, most often, almost always, when God “speaks” to us, it’s not in a voice like a phone call but, it comes in the form of an abstract feeling.

K. A sense of guidance, a general feeling of the rightness or wrongness of a particular path.

E. And it was very clear to me when I was with her -- that “Divine Abstraction” came through as a feeling of emptiness in my spirit. It was so obvious to me that something was really wrong.

K. And later, when we were walking in the moonlight, we experienced what we’ve called a “mystical aura” surrounding us and enveloping our meeting.

E. These things of which we speak make no sense to the materialistically minded. They won't accept our report as factual. For them, it’s all “zeal of the organs”.

K. I think what we’re saying is that when two lovers sense the “mystical aura,” it’s a way of God communicating with us, informing us, that we’re on the right track.

E. It’s like a Geiger counter going off, like an alarm notifying us, “hey, wake up, this is important, and it’s something really good.”

K. Elenchus, had you ever experienced the “mystical aura” with anyone else?

E. Never. Only with you. And I now realize that, in the early years with us, there were muted versions of this for me, but I was too young, too immature, too distracted, to realize what it meant, so I brushed it off or failed to take any notice.

K. But things became clear when you were kissing another girl. That's strange, isn't it?

E. Maybe not so strange. Let's recall that we come to this world to "wake up," and this is encouraged by the jarring polar opposites of planet Earth: the good and the evil, the hot and the cold, the light and the dark, the bitter and sour, on and on. In "the 500" article, we said it was like ice-cold water down your back.

K. That will wake you up.

E. So will being with the wrong girl in a parked car.

K. (small smile) mmm...

E. We’ve said that the “mystical aura” is a way of God communicating with us. Let’s expand this concept. There’s much gold here to mine.

K. Well, we might recount what the great mystic, Andrew Jackson Davis, said about this. Twin couples, the authentically married, he asserted, reveal God to each other. And we’ve always seen the logic in this as Twins were “made in the image of God,” and not just in a generic way but custom-crafted “made in the image,” just for each other. And so why should it be counted an anomaly for them to reveal the “unknown” God to each other?

E. This is an extremely important point.

K. Elenchus, you said that you experienced a feeling of “emptiness” with her, but, with us, the “mystical aura” could be called the “fullness.”

E. Yes, very good, and very accurately described. It’s the reason I couldn’t speak at first when you met me on the porch. I was so overwhelmed by the “fullness” of the moment, of all that you mean to me – even though I’d not yet understood it very well.

K. I think this concept of each Twin revealing the “beauty of the face of God” to each other is incredibly marvelous and goes a very long way in explaining why what they have together is so “mystical.” The “zeal of the organs” was never so potent as that.

E. The “mystical aura” experienced by Twins unlocks some very deep reservoirs of “soul energies.” The resultant pleasure far and away supersedes that of anything John and Mary ever knew or could even suspect.

K. Yes, the "resultant pleasure" - and Twins will interpret this as sexual pleasure, even though they might not yet have touched! It’s a pleasure that's higher than the Moon, on its way to Mars.

E. We should add corroborating testimony from Silver Birch:

Spirit-Guide Silver Birch, 3000 years on the other side, communicating from the afterlife:

“There is a great power in the universe... it is so real that it transcends all other forces ... that love is deathless because it is part of the Great Spirit, the creative spirit of all life, part of the power which has fashioned life; it is indeed the very breath and the very essence of life. And wherever love exists, sooner or later those who are united by its willing bonds will find one another again [implying, the two had been temporarily lost to each other] despite all the handicaps and obstacles and impediments that may be in the way... there is the love, the undeniable love, between man and woman who are complementary to one another; that is, they are two in form, but one in purpose -- they harmonise, they are, indeed, as your poet has expressed it, ‘two hearts that beat as one.’ Now, where that love has found itself, there is never any separation. Those whom the natural law has joined by love can never be sundered, in your world or in mine. Where there is that love - and here I am afraid I am going to be controversial - it is always reciprocated... the real love, that only comes once to each man or woman, whether on Earth or in the world of spirit, is always reciprocal... the two halves instinctively, because they are two halves, must recognise one another. That does not happen in your world always because your vision, regarding things of the spirit, is often blind... Physical things [circumstances in this world of suffering] could stop it [temporarily stop the destined two from coming together] ... but the real love is so magnetic, so overwhelming in its attraction, that it must find itself and claim itself, when once you have got rid of the imperfections of the Earth which were the deterrents to recognition.”

K. I love how he says "so magnetic, so overwhelming"!

E. It's the kind of love that's not part of any "many fish in the sea" notion, as it comes "only once" to each person in eternal life.

K. This is the sense of "mystical aura."

E. You can't get it from any girl in a parked car.

K. But notice what Silver Birch said is fueling all this high-octane love - it's the very mind of God! And so, Elenchus, summarize some of this for us. How do the feelings and perceptions associated with authentic Twin love and marriage differ from those experienced by the typical couple in the world.

marriage, more than friendship

E. There’s an old John Denver song, “Two Different Directions.” It starts with the lines, “They say they love each other, I’ve no doubt they do, they say they’ll always be together, this may not be true.”

K. That’s interesting. How many times have we heard someone say, “Oh, they love each other,” or couples themselves will tell their friends how much they love each other. But, when they use the word “love” they don’t mean it in the way that Twins know it.

E. When it’s said of John and Mary that they “love” each other, what they usually mean is, “we have affection, we get on pretty well together, we don’t fight that much, we’re good work mates, good partners, we keep the household running, we consider each other pretty good friends, we share the workload with the kids, we remember the anniversaries and the birthdays, mainly, and we try to help each other when schedules are tight.”

K. All that is fine, but let’s notice, too, Denver’s presumed reason as to why they will separate. The song title gives it away: they’re walking in two different directions.

E. C.S. Lewis once defined friendship as seeing the same thing, and therefore walking the same path. But people can be friends, as per this definition, but wholly unsuited to each other as marriage mates.

K. Marriage is more than friendship; or even, as one said, “friendship on fire.”

E. Well, we all like friendship, but to exalt it overmuch, and to suggest that great friendship is the identifying trait of successful marital union, takes us very wide of the mark of authentic marriage.

K. The truth is, your eternal mate, in the beginning, might not be your friend, might not see eye-to-eye on things. But these differences, most often, are the result of one’s cultural conditioning, which means – don’t worry about it – you will come together on these issues later.

E. The essential characteristic for Twinship is not friendship but an inner likeness, even, a sense of mirror image, on the very deep inside. Granted, even if two are Twins, if they don’t see eye-to-eye, it likely means they’re not yet ready to be together, but none of this “walking in different directions” will change their status as Twins; not a particle.

K. And so, as John Denver sang, “they say they love each other,” but they might not always be together.

E. Love comes pretty cheap these days. People say they love each other but is there any substance to the assertion?

K. It’s easy to make a claim like that, but how many couples do you know who're still breathless in “mystical aura” with each other?

E. Now, that's a little different, isn't it, and more than friendship or affection. And yet, this "breathless mystical aura" is what Twins have in the real, eternal marriage. It doesn’t mean they’re hot-and-cooking all the time, but the “glowing ember” deep within never, ever goes out.

K. And they can fan it into roaring flame any time they jolly well feel like it. But John and Mary can’t do that. For them, their fervent “parked car” days are now a distant memory, and they never talk about it.

E. So, what's the real difference between the love of these two couples? Love that’s rooted in the body flies away when Mother Nature is satisfied with her species-propagation program, but Twins know a love fired by an eternal flame of complementing “soul energies” which are never, ever extinguished.

K. Oh, that little thing.

a sense of eternal destiny, a facet of the mind and plan of God

E. Right. But let me encapsulate it all a little differently. When Twins fall into the “mystical aura,” they are tapping into a sense of eternal destiny, an aspect of the mind and plan of God. When we do this, we will find ourselves in receipt of forces which will take us to Omega Point, an endless future of growing intimacy, love, wholeness, and harmony.

K. May I have a last word?.

E. Please.

K. The “mystical aura” is a divine revelation and experience. In its own way, it becomes an avenue to knowing the “unknowable” God. Any mystical experience is unforgettable. It will change your life and transform you, from the inside out. No wonder Twins are jettisoned into higher levels of consciousness by their love and can never grow tired of what they have, nor will they ever forget that first moonlit night they walked together. If you have a mystical experience of God, you will never forget it, as it will always live in your mind; so, too, when you experience the "mystical aura" with your true mate, you will never forget it, and it will strengthen, comfort, and enliven your heart for endless ages to come.

K. Our discussion above was properly concluded, but there’s another item worth mentioning. It has to do with the “chicken pox” episode when we were nine.

E. I well remember.

K. We offered the details in another article, but just to mention the main point: Elenchus, we came to realize that our laughing together at that time constituted, as you said, “the happiest moments” of your life. That couldn’t happen by accident.

E. I now understand that even at nine we were being treated to perceptions of the “mystical aura.” Of course, I was too young to realize what had happened, and so I soon forgot about it.

K. Until the memory of it jarred you into an awakening 50 years later.

E. (sighing)

K. I thought it would be good to make note of that event here, in light of the above discussion. It’s so interesting, Elenchus, that even young children, if they are Twins, will be accosted by the “mystical aura.” And one more thing, you promised me a few words about the sense of loss I was feeling.

E. Yes… Once our eyes begin to open to who we are to each other, all sorts of feelings of loss might surface in one's psyche. Things we missed out on. We have come to understand, however, that the sufferings Twins endure, especially relative to each other, will yet serve to bring them together in a mature and sacred way.

taking the cure for happiness

K. (sighing) I do understand that, but… sometimes, even so, I wonder how my heart will ever be healed concerning what I lost with you here. I just feel so bad sometimes... "my heart is fit to burst, since we took the cure for happiness."

E. I think the only answer is – we must trust God. There are ways and means in Summerland to make us feel whole, of which we presently know little, but, in our deepest hearts, we perceive that we shall yet find healing.

E. I think I don’t want to leave this discussion.

K. Are you still walking with me under that big harvest moon?

E. I guess I am.

K. (silence)

E. There’s another line in Kennedy’s song that speaks to our situation:

thought I saw your face, in the evenin' sky,
on a lonesome cloud, that was driftin' by

K. Did you see my face in a cloud?

E. No, it was more than that. Before I knew who you were to me, during those early years, I had several infatuations. But I now realize that, if there was something I liked about a girl, it was because, to one degree or another, she reminded me of you.

K. A kind of rorschach inkblot test.

E. At that time, I had no idea this was going on in my head. But many years later, as I recounted and studied my thoughts from those immature years, I realized that I had been subliminally “looking for you” in the faces of the many girls I encountered in life.

K. Elenchus, the mystics inform us – people like Andrew Jackson Davis – that, in a sense, the image of one’s true mate is etched upon one’s soul. It can't be removed; and I think you just described the practical implications of this.

E. I would agree; that’s exactly what was happening. I was searching “out there” for a pictorial match to an inward icon.

K. Elenchus, before we leave our talk, leave it one more time -- shall we succeed this time? -- I hesitate to draw attention to one more allusion in the "Moonlight" song; a haunting one.

E. (silence)

K. “You got someone else” – I can’t hear these words without dying inside. I know why it happened, and I did the same, and we both suffered for it; but… these are things that cause me to worry whether I shall ever be truly healed and made whole concerning what we lost… when we “took the cure for happiness”…

E. (silence) 

E. I was listening to the “Moonlight” song again.

K. Have you listened to anything else recently?

E. Not so much.

K. Why do you listen to it?

E. I don’t know… it puts me in a certain frame of mind.

K. Did you take the cure for happiness?

E. Booster shot, too.

K. (small smile)

E. While listening to the music, I was looking at your photo.

K. Which one?

E. The one I took of you at my thirteenth birthday party.

K. Oh, that one. I'd just come out of the pool and my hair was all straggly.

E. I guess, but… I never notice that…

K. What do you notice?

E. You’re face is so open, honest and sincere… I love it…

K. (silence)

E. It was a group photo. All the other kids were really animated, but you’re just standing there, straight-faced, simply looking right at me.

K. As I recall, you didn’t say one word to me at that picnic-party.

E. I didn’t really say much to anyone. I was fair that way, in my low social IQ days.

K. I was standing there, almost at attention, alone in a crowd. The other kids were wild, jumping on top of the picnic table and acting crazy. So I made quite a contrast.

E. Nobody else in that group was really looking at me. That photo was in my collection for many years, and much later I found it, and then I noticed you were the only one looking at me.

K. “I thought I saw your face, in the evening sky, on a lonesome cloud, that was drifting by.”

E. (sighing) I guess I was the one drifting by.

K. They say that in Summerland we can become so involved in all the activities over there that, pretty soon, we won’t think about what happened here on the Earth.

E. Do you believe that?

K. Not really…

E. I know I was a poor investment for you in those early days, you got nothing for your effort toward me; but, I’m finally awake now, and I pledge that I will yet make it my job to make you happy.