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exploring self-realization, sacred personhood, and full humanity

 

How To Sit Quietly
In A Room Alone

Simply notice: We grow spiritually - that is, strengthen an attunement with God - not by trying very hard but 'simply noticing' what’s going on in one’s own mind.

 

 

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reprinted from the "surrender and acceptance" page 

 

simply notice

We grow spiritually -- that is, strengthen an attunement with God -- not by trying very hard but “simply noticing” what’s going on in one’s own mind.

Why is there efficaciousness in “simply noticing”?

I think it’s like this. God, Universal Intelligence, has packed so much into our “made in the image” hidden capacities that it’s all just bursting to free itself and manifest in our lives. It will do so at the slightest invitation. We don't have to force it.

This doesn’t mean that personal change will come so rapidly as to overwhelm us, but it does mean that the tiny “flashes” and “sparks” of insight will commence, and then become more prevalent, as the months and years pass.

What are we to notice exactly? Well, the best way is to experiment and find out for yourself because none of this can be programmed as a computer algorithm. We will be taught personally, and uniquely, by God. Even so, there are general principles which, I think, will serve all of us.

What are we to notice? In a general sense – everything. What I mean is, notice what’s going on in your head as you change lanes in your car, when you’re standing in line at the grocery store, when you’re waiting for someone’s email. Notice how these things make you feel. You’re feeling bad about something. Why is that? What is this really telling you?

All of this, if investigated openly and honestly, becomes a “classroom” in which God will teach you about your hidden motivations. And let me just say, when you embark upon this “journey to the center of being,” you will likely feel like you’re getting worse concerning spiritual condition. This evaluation is normal. But you’re not getting worse, you’re just seeing the problem for the first time, seeing more, and this unveiling of the ego’s antics is not often pleasant. But avoid self-condemnation and stay with the process.

It takes time. I would say, in my own case, several years were required before I, myself, noticed, within myself, real change. But others around you, those who know you well, will see the change before you do.

Father Pierre Chardin: "Above all, trust in the slow work of God. Only God could say what this new spirit gradually forming within you will be."

 

the vice of the virtuous

In my own case, I find at times that this self-reading of “getting worse” is linked to a heightened sense of one’s own dark side. It becomes uncomfortably too real.

And I would say that, especially if one comes from a conservative background, the reality of the “heart of darkness” can make one feel extremely disoriented.

Elsewhere I have spoken of “unearned guilt” and this too begins to oppress one’s spirit. Anomalously, one can even begin to react or to see oneself, virtually, as a criminal, which is very unpleasant. I came to understand that all this confusion is part of the “long dark night of the soul.”

But why should we be required to enter this detour into a personal hell, seeing the darkness, up close – sometimes, the “madness maddened” -- within one’s own deeper person? Why can’t we simply say, “I want to emphasize positive things in my spirit, focus only on good things, and ignore and suppress the darkness within?”

The answer here is complicated. Many, in fact, do allow this form of repression. But, at what cost, and to what effect? I have come to see that true spirituality will be founded upon a perception of both the light and the dark in one’s person – which is the universal condition of humanity; no exceptions.

It’s become clear to me that, without seeing both sides, one becomes neurotic and will enter that self-delusionary world of “I thank thee Lord that I am not like other men.”

When this happens, there can be no authentic compassion for the down-trodden, service efforts become tainted with pride, one will unwarrantedly judge oneself to be “above” and “better,” and now, at best, polished manners will conceal a contempt for the weak, a cloaked, “If you were as good as I am then you wouldn’t be in this trouble.” Many have trouble believing that, with sufficient provocation, or cultural conditioning, or substantial duress, one might commit any crime of history.

And in this gross illusion of "I am better, I am chosen", a new form of evil rises in the world, and we become useless in terms of authentically representing the love of God. Some have called this hidden cancer, “the vice of the virtuous.”

 

 

notes

The following are random items that have helped me to think about this whole area over the years.

Why did I eat too much at that meal? I was only moderately hungry but I kept on eating. There’s a reason why they talk about “comfort food.” What hidden hurt or anxiety am I attempting to bury or smother by eating that whole bag of chips?

Do I really need to check my text messages at 3:30 in the morning? What is this underlying discomfort that prompts me to action? It’s ok to want someone’s response but it’s not ok to crave another’s approval.

Why am I sleeping too much? or watching tv, or drinking, too much? Why do I talk too much in conversations? Do I need these things or am I trying to escape or cover up some hidden pain in my life?

Too often, I eat too fast. And I take more into my mouth than I should. Big bites. Can you feel the inner disharmony, the psychological sense of “not enough”. There’s something I’m trying to fill up with food, but the problem is not in my stomach.

In conversations with others, I notice, within myself, a surge of “I am more” when I know something that another does not. And it doesn’t have to be anything important but only an exclusiveness: “I know this and you don’t.” Feel the ego inflation with the announcement, the expansion of “I want to be noticed.” What is it in me that makes it almost impossible to sit quietly alone?

So often the pathological ego, like an FM radio, seems to be set on “scan mode,” jumping not from station to station but from one hurtful image to another. What is going on with this perversity? It’s like a “rogue’s gallery” of the mind, a dredging up of every little and major offense of the past. Why am I being subjected to this disturbing array of mental photographs? But, after a time, if I’m very discerning, I begin to see that all of these unpleasant images have one thing in common: each one is set against me to create, by way of contrast, a sense of “otherness.” (This is part of the individuation process; see discussion here.)

Editor’s note: This “scan mode” phenomenon can be very assaulting. The ego at times can be very ruthless, continually bringing up these bad images. How to help ourselves? We cannot shut down the mind, as it’s a quantum field of possibility, always bubbling. Some people do quiet the mind termporarily by imposing a dullness via mindless chantings, and other external suppressants. But these forms of quietude come with deleterious effect, make the mind reliant on some outside agency, and tend to stupefy. While we cannot shut down the mind, we can divert it. What has helped me, almost every day, is to refocus: when the bad image comes, divert the mind to the energy, for example, in one’s hands. This automatically blocks the bad image. You may have to do this repeatedly when under severe attack, until the ego goes on to other modes of oppression.

Be on the alert for what Krishnamurti called “images.” We interact with the image not with the real person. Why do I have a negative image of that person though we’ve never spoken? Who does she remind me of? – yes, of course, some person in the past who slighted me. This is another way the ego creates "otherness."

Do I need recognition, some title of distinction, some visible promotion? What does this say about me? Do I think I'll be "more" if others pay homage? Do I really think I'll be enhanced with the title, in my deeper person, if I'm not enough without it?

Why am I troubled this moment? What caused the disturbance? Can I trace the negative energy back to some idea, some fear, some anxiety representing “If I can’t have such-and-such, then I’ll never be happy.” Why am I beset with subtle ripples of despair and apprehension at the news of such-and-such, or by the comment of others? Can I see that this, at some deeper level, represents a threat to my plans of attaining pleasure, psychological well-being? Am I living in a state of “If I can just have what I want, then I will feel good about myself”? Why is it that, even, sometimes, when I get what I want, I'm still not happy?

If we’re faced with a new situation, and do not know how to proceed, we can ask for guidance from Source on how move forward. Try this. Sit down or lie down and attempt to notice the first thought that comes into your mind. No matter if it’s a positive or negative image – so often it’s negative – endeavor to isolate the feeling that comes with the image. Don’t fight it, don't judge it, just notice the negative feeling. Try to drift in it. Attempt to “follow” it to its beginnings. The feelings we have are often “tips of icebergs” hiding much more below. Follow the “breadcrumbs", follow the feeling to the underlying discomfort. What is the hidden source of fear? Perceive a cloaked fear of “I will never be happy,” a fear of “I am not enough,” that is prompting a bad feeling at the surface of personality. As we delve deeper into hidden fears, we also find instruction for our lives concerning how to proceed.

We might say “I want to become a spiritual person” or “I want to come into enlightenment.” But these attainments do not come in a rush, nor in one day, but, for most of us, in a series of tiny “flashes” or “spark” of insight, allowing us to see where we are not aligned with the energies of Source. While acknowledging this incremental process, there is also such a thing as a "total field" experience, a mystical experience, which allows a panoramic view.

Can we become aware of our mental conditioning. People can be conditioned to believe anything. Why does geography dictate one's belief-system? Sections of the world have their predominate religions or political systems. Each person in any of these systems believes that he or she is "right" with all the world "wrong." Can we become aware of our own cultural conditioning?

All of the above comes under the category of "meditation." The term, however, has become unfortunate today as it's now alloyed with much errant concept. The issue before us is not so much quieting the mind but noticing what it's doing. The mind is a quantum field of possibility and cannot be quieted, but only by dulling it, with detrimental side-effects. Simply notice - and then follow the disturbance to source of disharmony. Noticing casts light upon the dysfunctional ego which has been operating in the dark, masquerading as the "true self"; this illumination is its undoing.

Krishnamurti lecture: 07.May.1966. "Meditation isn't apart from daily existence. One can't be ambitious, ruthless, vulgar and at the same time talk about God, truth, love. Meditation is a most dangerous thing. To be aware of the total process of existence, without choice, to be completely attentive, makes the mind tremendously active and revolutionary, not a domesticated animal, conforming to the pattern of society. This is dangerous because you may have to alter the whole structure of your life. Unconsciously, you know the danger of it, so you get nervous because you want to lead a secure life. What is being talked about might destroy all that. You will no longer be a Christian, or an Englishman, or an Indian, or this or that. You'll belong to no group, no sect. You'll have to be tremendously alone."

Editor’s note: “You will no longer be a Christian” because Jesus himself would not be a Christian. The doctrines of the Church veer widely from original teachings. Moreover, the Church is a totalitarian institution of the world, intent upon power and control, and this spirit of subjugation reflects nothing of freedom-loving Universal Consciousness, our core being, untethered by “simply noticing.”

The fact that we are led not to be a member of this or that group says a lot about the nature of Universal Consciousness – which, as we soon perceive, is very adamant for us to be free of all external restraint. This is why in Summerland the whole society is built around the individual, not the group. See more discussion in the new “inferential life” writing.

The unenlightened intuitively back away from this kind of “dangerous” meditation, as they subliminally sense the "revolutionary" aspect of it, meaning, they might have to change their lives. But they will also deny and shun those who speak of these things and even say that you are “frightening”. If you tell your friends about “going within”, do not be surprised if they do not take kindly to this kind of iconoclastic and “revolutionary” announcement.

 

 

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Editor's last word:

way of life

Simply noticing could be called a “choiceless” or “judgmentless” awareness. It is to "step back" and watch the antics of one’s own mind. We learn a great deal, about ourselves, by this attitude, and in this self-knowing, the ego's influence is progressively reduced with the inner life of the soul now pushing forward to manifest.

As much as possible, this mental posture of self-reflection is to become a way of life for us.

While it’s not something I’ve chosen, as such, but instead feel drawn to, when I cross to Summerland, as part of my service work, I would like to be involved in counseling. And the particular area that seems most vital to me is that of “how to find the true self,” or “how to access true spirituality.” Very few know about this in Summerland, as discussed in the "500 tape-recorded messages from the other side" writing.

Well, as we’ve learned in many articles, no one can really tell another person how to do this. “Truth is a pathless land,” as, essentially, we have to teach ourselves; rather, we have to allow God to teach us, individually.

While all this is true, a counselor or guide can be helpful in terms of generally pointing the way. And about the best any guide can do is to suggest: Simply notice what’s going on in your own mind. Feel the pangs of disharmony. What does this really mean? What is its origin? What does this tell you about yourself?

Elsewhere, we’ve learned that, if one engages in such practice, then, over the coming many years, eventually, not only will one become a more spiritual person – which is the primary goal – but all sorts of “super powers,” presently enjoyed by many of the ancient Spirit Guides over there, will also come our way. There's a lot packed into the "made in the image" soul.

But there’s another reason why people will want to do this. We will not be able to find our romantic eternal Twin Soul without success here. Why is this? The real problem isn’t finding her, it’s first finding yourself -- that is, finding one's true self, unknown to most people -- which grants an internal guidance system allowing a recognition of her.

Without our Twin mate, we will never enter our most complete happiness in heaven. This is the teaching of the best Spirit Guides over there. And this is what I want to explain to people in my counseling work.