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Word Gems 

exploring self-realization, sacred personhood, and full humanity

Soulmate, Myself:
The Perfect Mate

Natalie and Nick

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Wikipedia:

In My Dreams is a Hallmark Hall of Fame television film. It premiered on ABC on April 20, 2014, and stars Katharine McPhee, Mike Vogel and JoBeth Williams. It is directed by Kenny Leon from a story by Teena Booth and screenplay by Booth and Suzette Couture.

Plot

Nick Smith and Natalie Russo are single, living in the same city. On opposite sides of a fountain, they are both encouraged to make a wish. Their coins touch underwater, and they both feel odd.

Natalie's best friend Sharla pushes her to make the restaurant she inherited from her mother her own. She brings Mario, a chef from Italy, to revamp the recipes. He is hot-headed and initially uncompromising so Natalie fears he'll intimidate her regulars.

Nick's mom Charlotte has been pushing him to get over Jessa, his cheating ex. Concerned he never has second dates, she regularly sets him up. The latest is Lori Beth, someone he dated when 12. Charlotte gets them tickets to a comedy performance. At work, although a trained architect, Nick is only a draftsman. Frustrated he's underappreciated, he quietly submits his own proposal for the Green Bridge Award.

Natalie and Nick fall asleep in their respective living rooms and dream about meeting at the Hayward Fountain. They introduce themselves and have instant chemistry, but when they touch they both awaken.

The next day, at the restaurant, Natalie tells Sharla about the real-feeling dream. Although Sharla's cousin is interested, she doesn't care. Sharla is drawn to Mario, and Natalie isn't. He reminds Natalie their mothers had been friends in Italy, and passes on his mother's condolences.

Nick's date with Lori Beth goes badly. She's over eager, sending hourly reminders, photos of potential outfits and ccing his mother. She continues trying too hard, reminiscing about moments they'd shared 15 years ago. Nick walks her to her car, clearly not interested in seeing her again.

Again, Natalie and Nick dream together, this time on a rooftop. She wants to take risks and is tired of playing it safe. He tells her about the bridge he's designed for the contest and she shares an amaretto cookie. Balanced on the roof's edge, when they try to kiss they fall, and both wake on the floor.

Natalie tells Sharla about the second dream, that she can't stop thinking about him, and is anxious to go back to sleep to see him again. In their third dream they stroll all night, encouraging each other's careers. They both admit they are starting to have feelings for one another.

Before Nick can fall asleep, Jessa calls him to kill a rodent, and seduces him, so Natalie doesn't find him. Upset, she decides to avoid sleeping the next night, so she goes dancing with Mario. He kisses her at the end and says their moms always thought they'd be together. Then Nick goes to find her, but is now alone.

Nick dines at Natalie's restaurant but they don't see each other. Finding two little sketches on the floor, one of his bridge, the other of Hayward Fountain, she goes to the fountain. There, she finds the florist she'd met there five days ago. She tells her, according to fountain mythology, they have exactly seven days to turn their dreams into a reality. When asked if it'd worked for her, she suggests she find a real man and forget the legend.

That night, Natalie meets Nick in their dreams and tells him she can't meet him again as he's obviously not real. She tells him that they only have one night left to fulfill the myth, but she fears it will break her heart, so she vows not to sleep the next night.

At Nick's parents' 40th anniversary, his dad mentions the Hayward fountain legend and his mother tells him to take a leap of faith. Nick finally quits at the architecture firm. At the restaurant, seeing a spark between Sharla and Mario, Natalie suddenly realises she must find Nick, although an important critic is there. He simultaneously decides he must find her, so leaves the award ceremony.

Nick arrives to the fountain first, accidentally dropping the invite. Natalie misses him, but finds it and heads to the ceremony. He seeks her by visiting every Italian restaurant in town. Nick finds Russos, but Sharla doesn't know where Natalie is. Joe at the ceremony can't help her either. Both go the fountain, find each other and kiss.

The next day, Natalie introduces Nick to the florist.

Elenchus. What do you think of this movie?

Kairissi. I liked it. I don’t think it’s an “all time great” movie, but I liked it. We like seeing people get together as it gives hope to all of us.

E. The question will be asked, can we dream a lover into existence?

K. It’s problematic. I would say that the story of Natalie and Nick offers some element which does relate to reality, but a good portion was just make-believe.

E. You don’t subscribe to magic fountains as wishing-wells?

K. We need to be careful what we believe in. I think many of us want to find love, so much, that we might delude ourselves, if we're not careful, into allowing a flight of fancy. But we should talk about aspects of this story that do conform to “what’s real.” I’ll begin by referencing what Mary Lodge from the afterlife said:

[Reported by Michael Tymn] On October 18, 1929, Sir Oliver Lodge, a distinguished British physicist and pioneering psychical researcher, delivered the first Frederic W.H. Myers Memorial Lecture to the Society for Psychical Research (SPR) in London. Myers, one of the founders of the SPR, had died in January 1901. He and Lodge had become good friends. The following is … from that talk, as set forth in the November 1929 issue of “Psychic Research,” published by The American Society for Psychical Research. Lodge’s wife, Mary, had communicated this from the other side:

“There is one thing I wanted to explain to you. When people belong to each other through long association through love, [or even] through freshly [or recent] relationship, there is no difficulty in contact between those people, either from one plane to the other, or between them when they have both reached the same plane. The links exist.”

E. Would you say Mary's testimony, that, "when people belong to each other" there "is no difficulty" for them to make contact, means that proto-lovers might invade each other's dreams?

K. I would absolutely say that this is possible. But, when I make this statement, people want to exclaim, "well then, why can't I just dream my true mate into my life right now?"

E. But, we know it's more complicated than that.

K. It's more complicated because the real problem is not so much finding the true mate, it's being ready, spiritually ready, to recognize, engage, and enter into authentic soul-based relationship.

E. You forgot to say, "oh, that little thing."

K. I was working up to it.

E. And, of course, we've discussed this aspect of readiness on a thousand pages in WG.

K. We need to be "ready to go," and most are not ready, even if they know who their eternal mate is.

E. (silence)

K. Look at how Natalie and Nick avoided each other, wouldn't wait for each other, even when they knew each other to be "the one". Their fears of never finding happiness, of time running out, of "I need to make my move now," caused them to be with ones, as Mario said, who offered "no spark" of true love.

E. We have often spoken of lovers being out-of-phase with each other: one is ready but the other is not, then they switch roles, and compound their misery.

K. It takes a lot of "spiritual presence" to tell oneself, "I can sense my true mate out there somewhere, and I'm just going to wait for him, and it doesn't matter how long the wait, even if it's in the next life." Because, if they try to "go second- or third-best mate-shopping," all they'll accomplish is to increase their suffering.

E. I believe... that, in a sense, it is possible to "dream your true mate into existence."

K. And tell everyone what you mean by this.

E. If we are on a path toward enlightenment, with one's internal guidance-system nearing activation; if the ego no longer totally dominates and "flashes" of insight, more and more, invade one's field of awareness; if latent sensibilities, unbidden, commence rising from the depths, coming online; then, we need to trust our dreams, our intuitions, the whisperings of the soul - the soul, in union with her... and now one might faintly detect a soft beckoning voice; especially, late at night.

K. (silence)

E. But, be careful what you wish for. If one grows to be spiritually sensitive enough to actually perceive the "vibrational essence" of one's absent true mate, this does not mean that she will be mature enough to respond in kind. Instead, heightened awareness might result in missing her more severely now; but this understates the case. Be prepared to enter a phase of profound misery, lasting, possibly, for the remainder of one's mortal time, as the sacred self, bereft and forlorn, staggers through life, now consciously aware of its destitution.

K. (softly) None of this is easy. We're talking about preparing to be with someone forever and ever. We should not expect ourselves to be suddenly imbued with an advanced maturity. These things take time.

E. Or, rather, when these things happen, they do so in "no time" at all - one timeless moment of cosmic clarity; however, it can take a long time for the puerile mind to be ready to receive.

K. And I believe you and I know something about "puerile."

E. (sighing)

K. Afterlife testimony, reprinted from the "what we stay alive for" essay:

it is the darling companionship "resting in God"; the Gospel of Thomas speaks of "rest", the end of strivings for satisfaction, to fill the existential void; the mystic Carlyle Petersilea expressed the same concerning the sacred beloved:

“It was the first time in my life that a sense of home and complete rest had filled my soul… Obey me implicitly in one thing. Do not marry for any consideration [of status, comfort, or physical beauty]; if you do, bitter woe will be your portion, and a lifelong misery on earth; every morning you will desire death, and every night your pillow will be wet with tears… [why will you curse yourself thus?] wait for the counterpart of your own soul.”

K. Let us well note the nature of this existential blessing: he becomes to her "a sense of home" and "complete rest" to her soul. This is rather more than "I like your pretty face and the jokes you tell." Can we feel the utterly transcendent perception of total well-being?

E. As you and I discovered, this "sense of home" and "complete rest" occurred, totally unexpectedly, during a mystical experience of "no you and no me."

K. And in receipt of this transformative unveiling of reality, we have no option but to abide the delay of the absent mate; no matter how long the wait.

K. As we leave our discussion here, I must add something. Over the years, when we’ve talked about the true mate, or the sense of “home coming,” or “complete rest to the soul,” people often say to us, even with a measure of repressed anger, “I’ve never experienced that, I’ve never had that”; meaning, “I don’t believe you, I don’t believe this is possible.” We understand. And this was the message of the Troubadour Guides in “The Wedding Song”: it’s “something never seen before” and virtually no one on Earth has known the real thing.

E. And now the question is begged, Why is it so foreign? Have not all of us fallen in love at some point in our lives? And didn’t we find it good while it lasted? - but it was a passing thing. And now you come along and say that we know nothing about it!

K. And so, no wonder some of this can make people angry. But the issue is this. The real love, the true and eternal love, which is many times more potent than what John and Mary know, is not rooted in the body but in the sacred soul. And if one is materialistic in one’s thinking, then we should not expect to experience the transcendence referred to herein.

E. And now some will ask, If all this is true, what can we do? We are not saints and pillars of virtue. How can we equip ourselves with the internal guidance system of which you speak, which will allow us to find and recognize the true mate?

K. These are the right questions, and the answers are simple – simple to understand, but not so simple to employ. It will take a little time. We begin the right path by finding one’s own true self. Once we do that, then we’ll be in a position to find one’s true and destined love. Our recommendation is to consider the information on the “true self” page.