|
Word Gems
exploring self-realization, sacred personhood, and full humanity
Editor's 1-Minute Essay:
Worry
return to "Worry" main-page
Marcus Aurelius: “Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present.”
The word “worry” comes to us from an ancient root “to strangle,” to immobilize. Our initial reaction in learning this might issue with a measure of surprise – but only until we remind ourselves of the debilitating effect of worry upon our persons.
what we learn from common wisdom about worry
Have you had a chance to glance at the many quotations on the “worry main-page,” and did you notice? - so many of them speak of worry as if it could be expunged by reason, will-power, or a good talking-to.
A number of the quotes take the pragmatic approach: “You’re just wasting time, you could be out there enjoying life, and most of what you’re worried about won’t even happen.” But we worry anyway.
Some look at life with que sera, sera mentality, what will be, will be, so "don't worry, be happy." But we worry anyway.
Or, they say, “You’re just hurting yourself, you’re loading up with negativity when you should be doing creative things, making your life better.” But we worry anyway.
you can’t argue yourself out of a fear-based mental attitude, by giving yourself a sales-pitch of good reasons, because your fears didn’t come to you in the first place as a function of careful reasoning
Trying to give yourself a pep-talk to stop worrying is like trying to argue with a friend that she should leave her cult religion. And good luck to you with both of these dreams.
Here's the essence of the problem: If the underpinnings of a mental position is constituted with fear, then its victims will be somewhat consumed by images of loss, of “I don’t have enough” and “I am not enough.” This is the world of the dysfunctional ego. We have discussed at length this untoward dynamic in the many Word Gems articles, for example, the writings on “Cultism” and Hoffer’s “true believer.”
A fear-based mental position means that one has identified with the issue at hand. It’s no longer just a neutral argument with fact-gathering or coolly weighing the options; instead, the ego has now made itself one with the mental construct.
When this happens, no amount of good reasoning or will-power or argumentation will avail a whit. In fact, in the face of argument against one’s position, we’ll find ourselves worrying more now; just as your friend with the religion will be even more adamant now.
It happens this way because the ego, feeling itself under attack, and struggling for its survival, will dig its heels in, all the more. Editor’s note: I recall 50 years ago Art Mokarow speaking to us ministerial students: “If you condemn someone for smoking, in an attempt to get them to stop smoking, all you’ll do is to get them to smoke more now.”
A beginning solution to our problem is one that I've addressed, in part, on the "surrender and acceptance" page. But allow me to reprint a portion here:
|
this world cannot be fixed, only forsaken; so too with the individual attacks of the dysfunctional ego
The life lesson I’m about to comment on evaded my understanding for decades.
Elsewhere, and somewhat frequently, I’ve referenced Adrian’s insight, borrowed from the ancient Gnostics, that this world cannot be saved, but only transcended. No “kumbaya” effort, as I use the term, will remedy the egoic insanity on planet Earth.
Recently, however, it became more clear to me that the principles in play for this macroscopic view are also relevant on the microscopic level. Here’s what I mean:
relentless
As we’ve discussed, the dysfunctional ego will attack us, maybe, hundreds of times a day. It is relentless. It’s constantly looking for a way to make us feel “separate” from all aspects of God’s creation. The ego will try to turn us against people, or the news of the day, or the weather, or the letter you just got in the mail, or the stock report, or life itself. It could be anything, it doesn’t matter, the ego will even try to make you think ill of your best friend.
fighting yesterday's battles from the comfort of your bedroom
And many times, nothing will have changed in the environment. We might be lying in a comfortable bed at night, all quiet and cozy – but then the ego will bring up a memory from some past slighting or grievance, and now we’re off to the races one more time with “sad movies” being played in the head. As we said, this discomfiting process might enjoy hundreds of iterations each day!
how to deal with these attacks to our peace of mind
When an egoic attack comes, our natural reaction is to try to solve the problem. We want to analyze what happened, and what didn’t, and who’s to blame, and who should have done what, and who should pay now. This reaction is a defense mechanism. We feel diminished in these attacks and we want to make ourselves whole again. We’re looking for a way to enhance ourselves – via anger, unforgiveness, retaliation, or bitterness – we want to make ourselves “more” when the ego makes us feel “less.”
can-do people don't like to hear talk about 'there is no solution'
However, all of this analysis, justification, and seeking for remedy against the wiles of the ego is the same process we find on the macro level among those attempting to secure world peace. It won’t work. Nothing will work, in a lasting and deep sense, as long as the ego runs people’s lives with those hundreds of attacks each day.
What to do?
When the next attack comes – and don’t worry, it won’t take long – do not try to solve, analyze, or defend. Simply dismiss the mental vision. Do not invite it in for a cup of tea to discuss. No. Just send it on its way without comment. Rob it of its power. It has no power if you do not acknowledge it.
immediately 'go within' and rob the ego of its power
What does all this mean? How do we address this is a practical sense?
It means that, when we are attacked by the ego, we are to immediately “go within.” Take a deep breath, focus on the inner energies – and the attack will immediately, or very nearly thereof, evaporate as the illusion which it is.
|
Editor’s special note: Sometimes, the attacks of the Ego can be so severe that deep breathing will provide only partial relief and remedy; meaning, the “sad movies” and the bad images cannot be shut down. During these times of duress, I have found that, in addition to breathing deeply, one needs to focus on the inner energies. For example, focus on your hand. Can you feel the tingling sensation? I have discovered that when this sense of scintillating life in one’s hand, or other parts of the body, is accessed, the oppressive Ego-induced mental images will immediately shut down. Keep this focus in play for a time because the Ego will be back. Just continue with the deep breathing and the focusing on the inner life of your hand, and you will find the bad images dissipating. Add to your success now by envisioning something very pleasant, something you love. With this, the Ego will be firmly set back – for a while.
|
the reality is, some problems have no solution
The world cannot be saved because 99%+ of the apparently-sentient creatures on this planet are led by the ego. This is by design; temporarily so.
In the meantime, some can escape right now, but the parasite must be defanged. To do this, when it attacks, one must immediately neutralize its attitudinal poison, before it takes hold to infect the mood of its host. Do not allow its claws to dig in and create a psychological base of operations. Dispatch it in a moment.
President JFK once said that some problems have no solution. It’s just the nature of the case, and you can’t change it. It would be like preserving the proverbial "snowball in hell." It’s not going to happen, it’s just how things are. So too, this world cannot be changed, not in a lasting and meaningful sense; nor, on an individual basis, can we remove our predisposition to the ego’s attacks. In both cases, these are not problems to be solved, as such, but to be transcended; these cannot be fixed, only forsaken. The answer is to rise above.
To restate: When we are tempted to suffer the pangs of grievance, orchestrated by the ego, we are not to analyze and seek for solution. This does not mean that problems in our lives should not be objectively dealt with. If possible, we should try to solve the problem, attempt to reduce or remove pain from our lives. But this attempt to solve a problem in the real world is an entirely different issue. When the ego presents to our minds problems in the form of a “feedback-loop sad movie,” these have no solution. They have no solution because when the ego reinterprets a problem of our lives it will do so in terms of its own bottomless pit of inner neediness, which is the dwelling place of the ego. No amount of content, even all the world or the universe, is enough to fill it up or make it right. And so these egoically reconstituted problems, flashed upon the movie-screens of our minds, are not problems to be solved, because their underlying basis is the forever-unsatisfied ego. The ego cannot feel satisfied and good about itself. Therefore an ego-reformulated problem, which may or may not have a solution in the real world, can never have a solution in the never-enough realm of the Little Me. And this is why, when the ego attacks, immediately dismiss its onslaught. What it presents is not a problem to be solved, but only transcended, with the better realization of universal abundance, accessible via the sacred soul, the true self.
real substantive change
When we learn how to do this, we will be well on our way to becoming a different person. We're talking about effecting real substantive change, not a legal fiction as represented by the typical church ritual; it's real, spiritual, evolutionary change, becoming what we were meant to become.
In receipt of this morphing, all of those vices, big or small, which people might know us by, even since childhood, will begin to drop away as useless appendages. Yes, almost immediately, they'll start to wither. It is impossible, at the same time, both to harbor vices and to become enlightened (which means discovering the "true self").
every human being has the same primary purpose in coming to this planet
And now you’ve won. The “true self” is in charge of your life, or beginning to be. You’ve accomplished the major and primary objective for coming to this Earth.
A Course In Miracles: "Forget not that the healing of God’s [children] is all the world is for. That is the only purpose the Holy Spirit sees in it, and thus the only one it has. Until you see the healing ... as all you wish to be accomplished by the world … you will use the world for what is not its purpose, and will not escape its violence and death."
Congratulations, you've become who you truly are, the one you've always been beneath the egoic rubble of acquired surface personality.
Now don’t be discouraged when you stumble and the ego takes you over again for a while. It won’t give up that easily. Mental habit patterns of a lifetime will not turn on a dime. Do not condemn yourself for falling; be kind to yourself, as you would offer compassion to anyone in need.
the monumental difference in your life
However, each time you fall, you’ll pick yourself up a little faster, you'll become more and more cognizant of the slipperiness and trickiness of the ego, and soon – along with others around you who will notice it first -- you will become aware of the monumental difference and change -- change for the better -- in your life.
|
Does this make sense to you? If this is the first time you’ve encountered ideas such as these, it probably won’t make sense to you. You’ll have to experience it for yourself; and not just a flash-in-the-pan one-time event, but these are principles to guide your life, now, when you cross over, and a million years from now. The dark ego is not going away that easily.
To remove worry from your life, you will need to learn how to “go within.” There, you will find the life of God, hidden in your own deeper person. Accessing this life is how we “transcend the world.”
Notice in the above discussion, worry has two parts:
(1) There’s usually a practical aspect to it: for example, we need to find a job, therefore we need to do what we need to do to get a job, and we’ll soon have one. These are the practical aspects of life that are well addressed by reason, will-power, good planning, and the like. But
(2) the fear-based aspect of worry cannot be reasoned with. Instead, it has to be immediately “forsaken” and “transcended.” We do this by neutralizing it, by accessing the life within.
It’s takes some practice, but it is the solution. Nothing else will work.
Editor’s note: You will want to read “How To Sit Quietly In a Room Alone” book; it offers advice on how to access the life within.
|