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Word Gems exploring self-realization, sacred personhood, and full humanity
Soulmate, Myself:
Kairissi. With the conclusion of Part II, we thought we had finished our discussion here. But we’ve been blessed to see much more. In fact, it’s almost a totally new subject for us now, in receipt of recent flash-insights. Elenchus. We’d like to alert our readers – I’m tempted to use the word “warn” – an alert to the magnitude and gravity of what will be presented. K. After an intro like this, we’d better come through with the goods. Can we do it? Well, we know we can, as this information has upended our views on this subject. What we have to say here is very relevant to romantic love, and , indeed, to all facets of human interaction – nothing excluded. E. We speak of what we know, have actually experienced, not mere theory. Let me also say that I’d like to keep this discussion short. The truth, when we find it, will be beautiful in its simplicity and easily accessible. No complicated formulas, no strange meditation tricks with chantings and posturings. What we describe can be accomplished, in a sense, instantaneously. K. As Jesus said, the way of forgiveness and love is “easy,” and “my burden is light.” We hope to make this clear. Why don’t you begin, Elenchus? E. I’m reminded of something Spirit-Guide Abu said, in a tape-recorded message, offered in the “guilt.1-minute” writing. He was talking about how hard it is, for many, to overcome feelings of guilt; especially, the “unearned guilt” laid upon us, since early childhood, by Dear Mother Cult. K. We take note that feelings of guilt are just one more ego-image that people find difficulty escaping from. E. You’ll want to read the transcript for yourself, but he said that the underlying cause of the often-unshakeable sense of guilt is that of being out of relationship with oneself. Allow me to quote that writing: Abu says that the nettlesome topics of sin and guilt find their shadowy substance in a misunderstanding of one’s own status before God. He says the key to resolution here is to “come into a relationship with” oneself: Abu: “I would venture to say ... even particularly educated mankind is in fact in no sense really in a true relationship with itself.” He said this is so because mankind’s “own ego” is “smothered, is overlaid by accretions, by ideas and by notions" or ego-images. K. This phrase, out of relationship with oneself, might not sound like much but it’s life and breath to us. This 3500 year-old Guide is exactly correct. E. What does it mean to be in relationship with oneself? – or with another? for that matter. K. But it’s even more pervasive than this. Lots of people are angry not just with God but with very life and reality! In all of these cases, false ego-images have been constructed, and now we’re interacting, not with God, not with life and reality as they are, and not with others as they are, nor with ourselves as we truly are, but plastic-banana false images.
E. And now the question becomes, alright then – how do we access this authentic relationship, with ourselves and with others? K. Elenchus, I know you don’t like doing this, but we should explain to our readers what happened to us, and this, very recently. This subject is so important that I think we’re called to allow some invasion of privacy. E. (sighing) It was very late, one of those “3 AM” teaching sessions. K. (softly) All becomes clear in the Dazzling Darkness. E. I was alone. And I was very angry with Kriss. No new reason, just the ego-images of the past ganging up on me, and making me madder and madder by the second. I saw all that happened over the years, and was boiling. Now, usually, I do a better job of controlling my spirit… K. (softly) But this was your night off. E. Uh-huh. Well, I felt so bad, and I imagined that Kriss was with me, and I was arguing with her. Believe it or not, this went on for five **** hours. I couldn’t shake this. I was so mad at her that I was telling myself that I never wanted to see her again, and that even in Summerland I would keep my distance, at least for a long time. K. (softly) You wanted to punish me. E. But then something strange happened. I began to release my fears, and I talked to Kriss just as Frankl talked to his wife in the camps. I asked her questions, and Kriss answered; she asked me questions, and I responded. It was all very real. I told her exactly what was bothering me, and how she had betrayed me. betrayed us, over the years, and this openness caused me to feel very angry. But she did not become angry in return. Instead, she answered patiently, and with great weeping – and now we were both weeping – she addressed each of my accusations; quietly, without attacking in return. She told me what I had longed to hear; how she was different now than in those early years, and she assured me that I would not lose her again, and that she would love me, always and deeply, in the particular ways that my spirit craved to be loved. K. And now people will say, all of this is a nice story, but wasn’t this just your imagination giving you what you needed? E. I understand the question. I myself asked this, too. But what happened next tells me that it wasn’t a fantasy. K. Elenchus, tell people -- what is the evidence? E. Let me take a step back. When I was feeling so angry, in the back of my mind, I was saying, “I know that I am just raging here, and I know I have these bad ego-images of Kriss. But how can I get rid of them? I mean, even if she’s conciliatory, these images are so entrenched in my spirit, they feel like concrete pillars, immoveable. I don't trust her to be sane. I despair that I could ever feel safe and free around Kriss again because I do not believe that these negative ego-images can ever be dislodged!” K. In other words, you wanted to forgive but you could not forget. This is the kind of thing that keeps feuding relatives, friends, and lovers apart for years, decades, or even a lifetime. It seems that it’s almost impossible to get rid of these “concrete pillar” bad images. E. I really wanted to forget, but I sensed that I could not. But here’s what happened next. As Kriss began to speak to me in that heartfelt way, addressing my fears of losing her, telling me what I needed to hear, why she did certain things – I mean, telling me in a sincere and authentic way, not just to say it – and suddenly I felt “the earth move under my feet.” Actually, this isn’t quite right. It wasn’t a process. There was no gradualism. What happened was, in less than a moment, all of the bad ego-images of her were just gone. I mean, gone! no trace! I was free of them. It’s as if they never existed! I felt healed and whole. Kriss, explain what this means. K. I believe it means that you had been interacting with me, too often, as an ego-image, not the real me. But in that mystical experience of our shared heart-interaction, you met the real me, and now you were in relationship with the real me, and not a false image. E. This is the simple and correct answer. It was all over in a heartbeat. And in that “one cosmic moment of clarity” I just wanted to be with her, and looked forward to our coming lives in Summerland, with no delay to be married there. K. (sighing) Elsewhere we have spoken of entering into “joint meditation” with a lover. This, we believe, and now have reason to be certain, will serve as a kind of governor or regulator of the required mystical experience needed to perceive the other in true essence. E. The bottom line here is, when we perceive the true status or essence of another – and this also applies to our relationship with God, or reality – then the negative images formerly associated with these will evaporate in a moment. K. If we allow the ego to define these others, the definition will always be linked to threat, loss, neediness, revenge, anger, and the like. E. Is the uncivil one really a bad guy or just a lost and wayward brother? Is the universe meaningless and harsh or a place of abundance where a great purpose is being worked out? We see the stark difference now in our choice of images. K. When we enter into authentic relationship with any of these, the old ego-images immediately are gone. We now see clearly. We become sane. And are able to live life in a whole and integrated way. E. I spoke of evidence, and I think I’ve made it clear. But, just to recap, in the “best evidence for the afterlife” article, we quoted one of the great poets who wrote of “the feeling that is evidence.” This is not ordinary feeling based upon the gossamer whims of the ego, but a mystical view of life and reality, a higher level of consciousness.
E. Earlier, I recounted a similar mystical encounter with you. I feel dismayed that, though it was an intense experience, it later faded from view; so much so, that in this more recent late-night “meeting,” the ego took me over and, for a time, I didn’t want to see you again. I am more than a little chagrined that I could separate myself from you like that. K. Someone once said that, in every love affair, there is a series of beginnings and endings. E. I suppose this is true, but I want to get off that merry-go-round. It’s just the ego making a fool of me. I want our sense of oneness to be permanent, and to stop the fading in-and-out. K. (softly) Elenchus, do you feel it was different this time? E. I am tempted to say, yes, it was different. It seemed much more intense. And this is why my pillow, at the end of the five hours, was wet with tears. I have a feeling that I traveled deeper to the center of being than before. It's hard to explain. It's almost like I'm radioactive... I'm just vibrating, almost shaking! And this has nothing to do with ordinary boy-meets-girl euphoria - not like that at all, way more. And now I’d like to believe that I'll never go back again. K. Remember the story of the angus ranch? One might have wanted this for all of one’s life, but then, after traumatic mystical “vision,” that desire can be totally excised from heart and mind. E. Like a surgical removal of cancer. K. It never came back; years later now, that desire has never come back. And so we know that real change of the mind's orientation is possible; even concerning dispositions that had dominated for a lifetime. Elenchus, do you believe that what “we” experienced together, some nights ago now, was of the same order and intensity to allow for this kind of permanent mutation? E. It’s still too early to be totally certain, but I will say, again, that I’m still inwardly shaking from those vivid late-night perceptions. I believe that it was deeper than before. I say this in reference to something else in that Part III earlier writing. We were speaking of Dr. Frankl’s ministry to the dying old woman. She said that her only friend in the camp was a tree branch, visible from the hut's window. She said it spoke to her, and he asked, what it did it say? She said, the branch told her, “I am here, I am life, I am eternal life.” This story deeply moves me, and I’d like to say it's very close to what I feel about you and what happened to me – you are an encounter with life, with eternal life. K. (silence) E. But there’s something new. As I consider the old woman’s testimony, I feel compelled to add a word. Not only do I affirm, “I am here, I am life, I am eternal life,” but a bursting sense deep inside exclaims, “I am joint-life, joint eternal life – with you.” There's a cosmic dimension to it all, with the Earth left behind. And this emendation of vision takes me farther than I’d gone before, along the path toward spiritual oneness, with you.
E. Kriss, I’ve asked myself about these words, “I am life, I am eternal life” – why do they have such a big impact on me? K. What do they really mean to you, Elenchus? E. Some time ago, in our discussions of “surviving eternal life,” I said that you help me “see the beautiful face of God.” And that’s what I’m feeling. I know it sounds very theoretical, but now I see it very clearly. K. (softly) What do you see? E. I see… and feel, that… without you, I would not be able to survive the “terror of living forever.” It’s an old cliché that a beloved is the life of her lover… but, now I know what this means.
K. Elenchus, what we’ve said here might be compared to a scene from The Matrix series. When the ego takes us over, it’s like re-entering the illusion of the Matrix. We forget who we are and what we have. We forget ultimate reality. The sacred inner connection we enjoy, the matching soul energies – these are always intact, but they become smothered by a heavy cloud of fear and doubt… and then we don’t remember each other.
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