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Word Gems
exploring self-realization, sacred personhood, and full humanity
Soulmate, Myself:
Prometheus Denied
20: I Saw You Dancing In the Gym
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[lying in bed]
E. I didn’t tell Day Star and Big Water the true reason why Adam doesn’t
really love Yvonne.
K. And what would that be?
E. She turned her head, of course.
K. (very softly laughing) Uh-huh.
E. You laugh, but there’s some truth in it.
K. I’m not concerned – you want me whether I turn my head
up, down, or sideways.
(silence) (holding each other in the darkness)
E. (deeply sighing) Maybe I will be like the boy in “American Pie.”
K. Why do you think so?
E. He sounds like a lonely outsider.
K. (silence)
E. How could I be anything else? I know I’m going to lose my memories
of you, but… that doesn’t mean, on some level, I’ll be totally oblivious
to having lost you. I can already sense what I’ll be like… I’ll know that
something is wrong… something is missing… I just won’t know what it is.
K. (very softly) Not until much later in life.
E. During much of the interim, I’ll “sing dirges in the dark” with
“my hands clenched in fists of rage”… but I won’t know why.
K. It all started… “the day the music died.”
E. “The day the music died”… and “the day that I die.”
K. “American Pie” boy might not allow himself to admit this,
but… “I know that you’re in love with” her.
E. How do you know?
K. “Because I saw you dancing in the gym.”
E. And what did you see?
K. “American Pie” boy is like an insensate worm, loving his protective
darkness, but… suddenly, even against his will, he becomes vaguely
aware of the light.
E. Did I “teach you how to dance real slow”?
K. Nooo… none of that, my Dear… we were both “out of luck,” as you’ll
be far too detached and submerged for anything resembling romantic
interest.
E. Then… how do you know that he loves her?
K. How do psychotherapists know that a patient is repressing reality? –
there are signs that cannot be hidden.
E. (silence)
K. When you dance with me in the gym, it will be the only time in your
mortal life when you’re allowed to touch me… and, in this touching…
“something touched you deep inside.”
E. In those quickening moments, even the insensate worm, loving its
darkness, will not be able to avoid the blaze of light of all that you are…
to me.
K. Like our "real contract," it will all happen subliminally; but that doesn’t mean it won’t have a gigantic effect on you. You will almost instantly repress, relegate to the nameless void, the vivifying effect of touching me… but, 50 years later, you will finally allow yourself to retrieve from the subconscious… what you once felt in those moments of seismic shift… when you touched my hand on that dance floor… but could not admit to the meaning.
E. I will finally allow myself to remember, and bring to the light,
what I lost on that dance-floor… “the day the music died.”
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